


Heart Strain

by Kitty0430



Category: Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 34,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29061639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitty0430/pseuds/Kitty0430
Summary: What if Akito didn’t receive Tohru’s kindness and didn’t realise her mistakes at the story’s conclusion?
Relationships: Honda Tohru & Sohma Kyou, Kuragi Machi/Sohma Yuki, Sohma Akito/Sohma Shigure
Comments: 84
Kudos: 15





	1. The Trigger

**Author's Note:**

> Alright! So this is a hypothetical that was discussed with discord friends from beginning to end, and I thought that it would be a good idea to write a fan fiction about it! Have fun!!

The more she learnt about it, the more Tohru realised how the zodiac curse was a major problem for everyone she cared about. From the day she started living with her new-found family, she learnt about painful truths behind the stories of each zodiac member. All of it just ached her heart, it tore it into pieces - especially when she found out the eventual fate of the cursed individuals: an eternal banquet. That’s why she resolved to break this curse; to free the people important to her.

However, there was one individual that stood out from the rest. The moment she had heard the folk tale from her mother, Tohru was always fond of the animal that had been an outcast to the group: the cat. Just as Tohru was a rice ball that didn’t belong in a fruits basket, the cat was an oddball in the zodiac. She had earnestly declared that she wanted to be the Year of the Cat because she found a genuine connection to how lonely it must have felt. It would be years later when she meets Kyo Sohma; the person who was cursed with the cat spirit.

At first, it was the urge to get to know the gentle and sweet boy behind the angry armour of hatred. But as time went on, Kyo made her feel different. He made her feel special. He made her feel comfortable. He made her feel genuine happiness. Before then, Tohru tried to cling to her love for her late mother, Kyoko. However, her grip on that love slipped as she began to yearn more for Kyo to be by her side. Unconsciously, Tohru let herself rely on him for emotional support, as he continued to see through the angelic facade, and saw the torn, lonely and broken girl inside.

It was after Tohru learnt of Kyo’s role in the curse, as a scapegoat who was sentenced to a lifetime of confinement after high school, she became desperate to counteract it. She didn’t want to suffer through the mental tsunami that swept her away when her mother got ripped out of her life. She didn’t want to be left alone - it was the reason why she connected to the cat in the first place. Even before she was even able to process her own emotions, she was already in love with him.

One small remark that came from him controlled her emotional mindset. If he was happy, she was beaming; if he was angry or sad, she was anxious. On the night Kyo told her that he’d support her if she found someone important to her, Tohru didn’t even realise that the pain rooted in her soul was spilling out; but she was moved to tears. When Kyo told her that he won’t be disappointed in whatever problems bind her, Tohru felt like the contents of the box that she kept away was being accepted. So imagine how she felt when the person who meant the world and more to her, was the same person who shattered her completely.

“Your love...is an illusion...”

Tohru’s senses became clouded. Kyo had once been the light which guided her in the dark, but now tears blinded her sight. Kyo’s tender words had once distracted her from the traumatic thoughts which tainted her mind, but now those are all she could hear as the sound of rain became mere background noise.

_ “I won’t be disappointed...” _

She had barely processed him turn foot and run. She merely stood in shock. Maybe she was actually struck from the lighting that accompanied the rain; she wouldn’t know. She was numb to it.

“Kyo! Wait!!” A distant voice had called out. But she wasn’t able to recognise who it was... her brain was too occupied repeating the words that were just said to her over and over.

She only snapped out of her trance when she heard her name, felt the tap on her shoulder. Yuki’s worried face came into view when she shook herself to reality.

“Honda-san...Honda-san, you should go inside and get cleaned up,” Yuki suggested, as Tohru suddenly realised how cold the rain felt against her skin, “you’ll catch a cold.”

Yuki then sprinted off to find Kyo, muttering something under his breath. Meanwhile, Tohru turned herself around, and staggered inside. She used muscle memory to navigate through the house, as her mind flooded with her overwhelming emotions.

She found Kyo’s words sad. She recognised the look in his eyes as he had spoken to her: sadness. It was even sadder and dearer to her than what happened to her mother.

Ironically, just as Tohru had thought that, she found herself facing her mother’s photo which stood up perfectly on the shelf in her darkened room. She stared at her mother’s smiling face, as her mind went blank. She had once thought to herself; that she and her mother would always be together. But now...

_ “Your....mother, don’t you love her? Or is that a lie? Did it ‘never exist’ ?” _

Something that Tohru didn’t even know was there collapsed within her. She grabbed her mother’s photo and broke down on her carpet. Tears flooded out of her eyes much like the buckets of rain that fell outside. She clutched the frame tightly to her chest, as her own turmoil surfaced in full view to her. She broke the promise she made after her mother’s death...that she’d always keep her mother in her heart. And now, she was facing the consequences.

She didn’t deserve Kyoko’s forgiveness, neither did she deserve Kyo’s love. She was a failure who burdened everyone. She clung onto Kyo, and in the process, was hurting him by reminding him of her mother. She was a parasite who leached onto whoever was comfortable to her. It was despicable.

_“I can’t forgive myself....I won’t forgive myself...I don’t want you to forgive me...”_

Somewhere in her thoughts, Tohru realised: she can’t forgive herself either. 


	2. Akito’s Story

Akito’s tunnel vision controlled her feet, as she travelled through the pouring rain. She felt anger, betrayal, hurt and sadness coursing through her veins, as the horrid events of the day transpired within her mind. Akito wondered for a long time: when did it all fall apart? When did the world that she was trying to desperately hold together collapse over itself? When did everything she had worked for begin to snap onto two? At first, most of her anger was targeted at Kureno, who had been deceiving her with pity; and Ren, who made her life a complete hell on earth since her father’s death. She blamed Tohru for taking her possessions. But then, as she had remembered Yuki’s words about blaming others, she had come to a realisation that it was over from the beginning. 

Ren, that woman, barged in for the purpose of attaining the very box that Akito had valued all of her life: the box that contained her father’s soul. Of course, Akito knew...the box had nothing in there to begin with. In a fit of rage, the broken god threw the box at her. She yelled and screamed at everyone present. But she froze when she moved to end her own mother’s life. She felt another bond snap. That’s when she knew; it was all over. She tried her best to prove to her mother, that her bonds were real. She used Yuki, Shigure, Kureno, everyone. But one by one...they continued to leave her. 

Akito was tired of this cruel world. She was tired of being left behind by everyone she thought she had a connection with. She was tired of everyone flocking to Tohru Honda. 

At first, Akito only considered her a dumb and ugly girl. She first formally met her on a fateful April morning, surrounded by cherry blossom covered trees. It truely symbolised a rebirth; a new beginning. Akito was merely going to use her as an example towards her prized possessions: that the only person who will always care about them was her. However, Tohru began to spark change, hope and defiance. The story that Akito had been trying to uphold to not feel alone was being tainted by a single girl. One by one, the bonds that kept the god spirit together disappeared; causing the gatekeeper of it to descend to mental insanity. 

Akito wanted to go and quell the source of this torture. In Tohru Honda’s narrative, Akito was the villain; even if that girl was the most tainted person of all. But in hindsight, Tohru was the villain in Akito’s story; even if that girl was the most purest person she had seen. Knife in hand, Akito decided that today was the last day the villain was allowed to live.

Soon, in Akito’s blurry vision, Shigure’s house came into view. She was going to confront Tohru Honda, and take everything from her. She was going to salvage herself in the hell that had been created by the unforgiving world around her. The door was left wide open, and insanity sparked on Akito’s face as she let herself in. 

Hearing no response to her entrance, she slowly worked her way around the house. The living room and kitchen was empty, and the amount of life the room emitted enraged her. While Akito was leading a tortured life that led her to her own mental destruction; Tohru Honda enjoyed in the company of the Sohmas. She thrived when the god didn’t. 

Akito decided to work her way up the stairs; staggering at the effort of physically lifting her feet. She heard shuffling in the very first room she passed, so she slowly opened the door. There was a loud creek noise that invaded her ears, and there she was. Tohru was on the floor in complete pieces. The pure angel that Akito had considered her was just, curled up into a foetal position, protecting a picture frame against her chest. Her frame shook as tears welled in her eyes. Her hair was all over her face, but the look in Tohru’s eyes was visible enough to terrify the divinity. 

There was no light in them. Why, after taking absolutely everything from her, did she look so tormented? Was she mocking her? That she needed more than everything Akito’s world was? 

“You....you!” Akito screamed as she hauled the girl up by the shirt and held her knife to her neck, “what are you trying to prove!? What are you trying to say to me? Do you think you’re better, IS THAT IT?” 

The photo frame that was once clutched to her chest fell to her side. It reminded her of how she treated her own box. At this moment, she reminded Akito of a doll: unresponsive, hollow, and yet so beautiful. She hated her more and more just looking at her. 

“Ah, I see. Yes, yes, you’ve won! You’ve taken EVERYTHING from me! Of course you’d look down on me! Of course you would, right? RIGHT?” Akito went on, shaking her harshly. She wanted Tohru Honda to respond; but even then, she robotically pulled herself together and simply gave a cold look to the desperate god. Akito felt herself shaking at the sight. 

She then let go of the other girl, snatched the picture frame away from her, and tossed it to the floor. Shards flew everywhere as Tohru merely turned her head towards the broken glass. Suddenly, realisation flashed onto her face, as she began to breathe heavier and her eyes widened in shock. Her eyes showed no light, but she looked terrified. She desperately bent down and collected all the pieces; some of them scratching her hand. 

Once she finished, she stood to her feet, just staring at the her hand’s contents; before dropping them on the floor again like it didn’t matter in the first place. Tears silently fell down her face. Akito remained baffled at the sight, before she decided to speak up. 

“I’m...useless now...” Akito whispered, her voice shaking, “the end has come...You win. You’ve taken my place. My family’s gone. You’ve taken everybody away from me. You must be feeling pretty pleased with yourself....” 

Tohru didn’t respond. 

“Thanks to you, I...I’m alone,” Akito’s voice painfully, her throat beginning to throb in pure pain, “you turned me into the bad guy. Does that make you feel good?”

Tohru gasped before she began to shake uncontrollably. 

“People like you...I hate. You’ve broken my world, yet you remain clean. You’re the dirtiest of all...!!” Akito screamed, as she watched Tohru gaze at the broken glass on the floor. 

“However...Tohru Honda, let me tell you one thing!” Akito continued, her breathing becoming rapid, “you’re the bad guy in my story! I’m going to kill you and conclude my story!” 

She held the knife up, and envisioned Ren, who she had failed to kill before. Similarly, Tohru didn’t look frightened at all: she was soulless. She even faced Akito as if she was prepared for it. 

“Die!” Akito yelled out, as she moved the knife in towards her stomach, “this time, I win!” 

The sound was a loud snap. Flesh was torn as blood began to drip onto the floor. As Akito pulled the knife out harshly, Tohru fell onto the floor, tainting her carpet red. She looked like a fallen angel. 

Akito laughed out loud, “does it hurt?! Is it painful?! That’s how my world was when YOU came into it!” 

Tohru looked like she was trying to hold herself together; clutching her wound tightly and breathing heavily. But once Akito had asked that question, the broken girl in front of her simply stopped, and gave her a tired smile. 

Without saying a word, Tohru fell unconscious. She was dead to the world. Was she dead? Akito wouldn’t know, not anymore: her senses at that moment dulled with the exception of a loud, excruciating beep that resembled a tuning fork. She didn’t even process Shigure run into the room, grabbing her and hauling her away as he snatched the knife off her.

Was this the end of Akito’s story? The conclusion to the final battle?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know my vocabulary here may seem limited; I repeated a lot of words and repeated myself a LOT. But what I was trying to show is that Akito’s mind is just going in circles and that her senses are becoming narrower and narrower until the end of the chapter, where they seem to just disappear. Anyway that’s all from me! Bye bye!


	3. Turmoil

Kyo only thought of himself. He selfishly reflected on only himself. He only said what he wanted to say. He completely ignored Tohru’s feelings. And he should’ve known it would happen: to never see someone again and to never have the chance to apologise; Kyo should’ve known that it would happen. For him to repeat the same mistakes again and again; it was as if he had never known. 

Kyo had only thought of what he desired: to have Tohru stay by his side until the final moment. In his reflections, he realised that he loved her; that he refused to trample her. He gave her comforting words her to make her feel better because he didn’t want to see her in sorrow. He completely rejected the idea that Tohru might also fall in love with someone as undeserving as him. But he really should have known: that the cat didn’t deserve any happiness. He should’ve known to start distancing himself from the beginning. Now he can’t apologise, he can’t spend time with her the same way anymore. He had forgotten to keep that mental barrier; it’s as if he never known how to in the first place. 

Kyo didn’t know where his feet were taking him. His focus entirely on the thoughts that plagued his mind. Why did she say that to him? Why was Tohru willing to put the person who killed her mother over the person she was supposed to love the most? Why did she just disregard all the pain he’s caused her and put him above everyone else who mattered way more in her life? 

“Don’t you understand...I just love Kyo!!!” 

There’s no way that was real. He was right. She was pathetic for loving him; a fool. Her love was an illusion. He told her that he didn’t want her to forgive him: so why did she think that forgiving him anyway would solve the problem? She can’t fix anything. She can’t do anything. She doesn’t know his eventual fate. She doesn’t understand anything. The tears in her eyes weren’t real. They really weren’t. If they were, then....

Kyo stopped running, as he exited the forest and began pacing slowly. He refused to think about it. Because he was going to be locked up anyway. Why did it matter anyway? He couldn’t fix anything. He couldn’t do anything. He wasn’t able to prevent this eventual fate. He didn’t understand anything. His tears in his eyes weren’t real. They really weren’t. If they were, then...it’d just hurt so much more. It hurt to not be by Tohru’s side. It hurt to see her cry. But he was hurt most by his inability to change anything about it. This was inevitable; and it was all thanks to Kyo’s stupid decisions. As usual he chose himself someone else; over Tohru. And he wasn’t able to prevent her from stupidly feeling the way she did about him. It was pathetic. 

Kyo blinked the tears out of his eyes, stuffed his hands in his pocket and continued walking while keeping a negative mindset. He tried to distract himself with the scenery, but the irritating rain around him only drained him. It didn’t help that Tohru’s face filled with tears kept flashing in front of his vision. 

Suddenly, Kyo felt a foreign touch grasp his arm, and he was spun around quite harshly. Before the cat could react, he was punched in the face. Landing on the floor, he finally looked up to see Yuki glaring daggers at him, while standing over him. He was looking down on him both literally and figuratively, which enraged Kyo. 

“What was that for, you lousy rodent!?” Kyo flared, as he stood up to face him while holding his cheek. The rain wasn’t making the pain any better. 

“Don’t give me that!” Yuki yelled back, grabbing him by the collar, “you of all people should know why I did that!” 

“Wh-What does that have to do with you!?” Kyo retaliated on impulse, “what I do is none of your business! If I see you barge into my business, I’ll kill you! Yeah, that’s what I’ll do, I’ll kill you!” 

“Well, it is my business!” Yuki yelled, before throwing Kyo onto the ground, “you dared to make her cry! You dared to hurt her! You’re just a selfish cat who doesn’t know how to GROW UP!” 

“I-you shut up! You don't know a goddamn thing!!!” Kyo screamed, his emotions on a high. He hated Yuki. He hated him to make himself feel better. He lived off of hating Yuki. Everything he lived for has to be dampened by Yuki’s existence. Just like this stupid rain.

“Well clearly, ‘you don’t know a goddamn thing’ about to treat Honda-san correctly!” Yuki refuted, “I heard almost everything you told her! What do you think that DID to her!? Did you ever even consider her!? NO, because YOU’RE a selfish cat who only considers himself!!” 

“Wh- that's none of your business!!!” Kyo snapped. It felt like he was a broken record. He didn’t know how to react. He didn’t know how to feel about hurting Tohru. Right now, he just knew that Yuki was wrong. It’s what he wanted to believe his entire life. 

“I just told you, it is my business!!” Yuki repeated, “or have your ears gone deaf too, you stupid cat!? Honda-san is important, and if you hurt her, I’ll never forgive you!”

Kyo froze as he heard Kyoko’s words be repeated to him again. 

“....and guess what you just did!? You left her alone in the rain, crying!!!” Yuki finished. 

Soon, they were left with just silence, as the rain continued to pour down around them. Kyo began to notice how his breathing felt uneven. He wanted to run, but at the same time, he didn’t have the energy to get up. Instead, he just cursed the rain, as Yuki grabbed his arm and pulled him up. 

“Let’s go! You have to apologise to Honda-san now!” Yuki ordered, as he began to angrily drag the cat back home. 

“Wh-Let go of me!!” Kyo yelled, as he tried twisting his arm around. But the rat’s grip was firm. 

“I’m sick and tired of you just running away and blaming others! It’s about time you did something for yourself for once!” Yuki responded, “and if it means that I have to drag you back home, then so be it! But you’re going to apologise to Honda-san yourself!”

“Oh screw you!!!” Kyo hissed. He didn’t want to see Tohru. He didn’t want Yuki to interfere with what he did. The entire walk home, Kyo began to wonder why it even mattered anyway. After high school, his life was over. It was nice that he found light, warmth and happiness in the years before his destiny crashes down on him; but it was over. 

Yuki didn’t know any of that. He wanted to get out of that “Sohma cage” that had trapped him, but he didn’t understand the literal cage Kyo was being forced into. He didn’t know just how devastated Kyo felt when Kyoko and his mother died because of him. Instead he lived a privileged life. He was the rat of the zodiac, and the prince of the school. Everybody looked up to him, and expected good things out of him. He seemed to always get what he wanted. Meanwhile, Kyo suffered from the darkness, awaiting the future that ceased to exist for him. 

“We’re here,” Yuki alerted, snapping Kyo out of his thoughts. He realised that the rat had long let go of his arm, and he was just mindlessly cooperating. The door was wide open; and once the two of them entered, they both witnessed Shigure carrying a wide eyed Akito down the stairs. 

“Wh-“ Yuki reacted, as Shigure quickly interrupted him. 

“Yuki! Quick! Call Hatori! Tohru’s been injured, and she’s bleeding out!” Shigure informed, “I’m getting Akito out of here.” 

“Wait what? Honda-san—! What-!?” Yuki questioned, as he quickly processed his request and ran to the phone. 

Meanwhile, Kyo felt his heart stop, and his eyes widened in pure shock. Suddenly, nothing but Tohru seemed to matter, as he followed his instinct to dash up to stairs and see her safe. He didn’t want to believe it was true. But when he slammed open the door, and saw the pool of blood surrounding her unconscious body on the floor; that thought was thrown out the window. 

“T-Tohru?” Kyo quietly called out, as he slowly approached her. He crouched down to get a closer look at her face. She was smiling peacefully, almost as if she was having a good dream. Only Kyo saw the amount of pain she was in behind that mask. 

Kyo tried to touch her. He tried to wake her up. He shook her gently. 

“She’s bleeding out!” 

Kyo stopped himself. The only thing that this was resulting in was her blood spilling everywhere, including his hands. The cat became terrified at the sight as he began to see Kyoko’s corpse. Just lying there....bleeding out...and it was his fault. 

“Wait! Wait! Wait! No...no. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Tohru wait—“ Kyo began to yell, his voice rising higher as more time went on with her not responding, “this wasn’t supposed to happen! Tohru!” 

The tears were threatening to fall down his eyes, as he screamed and begged for her to get up. He wasn’t able to do anything when his mother died. He wasn’t able to do anything when Kyoko died. Now, as it turned out, he won’t be able to do anything when Tohru dies. 

No, she wasn’t dead. She couldn’t be dead. Kyo denied every possibility that she was dead; even if that was almost every possibility. Because he couldn’t live without her. There’s no way that Kyo could go on with his life knowing she was gone. 

He couldn’t live without her. 

He couldn’t live without her.

He actually couldn’t live without her. 

In Kyo’s distress, he stopped as he had placed his hand on a glass shard. His hand began to bleed, as he followed the glass trail up to a picture frame. He picked it up and saw Kyoko smiling back at him. Suddenly, the picture inside the frame was replaced with Kyoko’s corpse. 

“I don’t forgive you.”

“No! No! No!” Kyo screamed, as he threw the picture away. The frame toppled over the figurines on Tohru’s shelf and that stupid blue hat from the time he left Kyoko. He desperately turned back to Tohru’s body to try and get her up, but saw seeing her mother’s corpse mirroring Tohru. 

“I don’t forgive you.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!!!” Kyo yelled, tears streaming out of his eyes. His heart beat rapidly. Breathing suddenly became a huge burden. Kyo could only hear his screams and Kyoko’s words echoing back at him. His vision was blurred. Kyo quickly grabbed a larger glass shard and stabbed it into his palm to distract himself. But then the sight of more blood only caused Kyoko’s voice to boom louder. 

“I don't forgive you!!!” 

Kyo felt like he was dying. He felt tortured by his own thoughts. He tried thinking of Yuki, and how much he hated him. He really wanted to focus on his hatred. But Tohru and Kyoko kept seeping into his mind. They never failed to escape, and Kyo couldn’t stop thinking about them. 

Suddenly, a flash of orange entered his view. Rolling on the floor was the small cat figurine which had been toppled over by the picture frame earlier. Kyo recognised it was the one that Tohru made after the school trip. Almost as if it was a trigger, her words entered his mind, countering Kyoko’s. 

“‘I don’t forgive you.’ Do...I have to say that? Forgive you or not forgive you...are those my only choices!? M-Mother...I can’t believe my mother would say such a thing to you! I can’t believe it. But...if...if she really said that, then...I...I have...to be against her!! Because...it’s me...don’t you understand...I just love Kyo!!!” 

“Tohru....please...” Kyo quietly mumbled, his vision becoming black, and his breathing becoming light. His consciousness was drifting away as he imagined Tohru’s beautiful smile. 

He knew that he shouldn’t be allowed to wish for this. He didn’t deserve it, after everything they’d gone through. He even told her that he didn’t want this from her. But he couldn’t help but ask this from her. He couldn’t help but ask for this slight bit of light from her. 

“Please...forgive me...” Kyo whispered, as he finally let himself fall into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This hurt my heart! Kyo’s my favourite character, so putting him in pain was the worst!! Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Yuki’s Feelings

“Hello, Hatori?” Yuki called, his voice quiet. 

“Yuki,” Hatori acknowledged from the other end, which prompted Yuki to speak a bit more confidentially. 

“I was told to call you by Shigure, Honda-san’s been—“ Yuki began, but got cut off. 

“Was Akito there?” Hatori asked. 

“Yeah. Honda-san’s been injured by him,” Yuki replied, before hesitating, “Did...something happen at the main house?”

“Kureno got stabbed,” Hatori answered monotonously, “did you call the ambulance?” 

Yuki took a moment to himself to let Hatori’s quick words sink in, before answering. So, Kureno got stabbed at the main house by probably Akito. The sudden sound of thunder snapped him back to reality. 

“Oh...yeah. Shigure told me to call you first out of panic, but I figured that calling the ambulance first would be a good idea,” Yuki replied, “they’ve already come and collected her.” 

“Okay, thanks for letting me know,” Hatori dismissed, “I’ll probably check on her personally after securing Kureno. Judging by how Akito stabbed Kureno, I do want to check.” 

“Yeah, definitely...I probably won’t be there, but I’ve already let her grandfather know, so he should be,” Yuki informed. 

“Understood,” Hatori confirmed, “well then, until next time.” 

“Yeah, bye,” Yuki responded before putting the phone down and sinking onto the floor. The amount of stress he felt was almost unbearable. The thunderstorm outside was a clear reflection of how rapidly his emotions seemed to have changed over the whole day. 

While calling the ambulance and Tohru’s grandfather, he heard Kyo screaming and crying. Then, he went up himself to find the two of them unconscious. Yuki physically had to stop himself from puking when he saw how deep Tohru’s wound was. Blood was soaked into the carpet and there were shards everywhere. The room was a complete mess. 

Yuki had went to check Tohru’s pulse, which had been super weak. The wound was fresh, and if he had moved her, likely she would have lost more blood. Not wanting to change anything, with a feeling of helplessness, he decided not to touch her. Instead, he had hauled Kyo up and carried him out of the room, and into his own. 

As Yuki laid Kyo down on the floor, he saw the painful expression he had on his face, and sighed. He was an idiot. When it came to something important, Kyo panicked and let her cry. Even though he was more capable than anyone, more than Yuki. He was more capable at making Tohru, the person he cared about the most, happy. 

It would be so great if it were possible to go through life without making a single mistake.

Yuki sighed and stared at the ceiling. After a long day of so many problems, he hadn’t had a single minute to think for himself. He had woken up to conflict, continued to take part in it, and singlehandedly had to deal with the aftermath. Reflecting on it all, Yuki realised that rather than anger or sadness, he was worried. He was worried about Kyo too admittedly, but his worry for Tohru’s safety pained him emotionally. 

It would be nice to live in a kind of world without any troubles. Without any fear. Without hurting anybody. Without ever being hurt; only doing the right thing. Yuki wished he could reach this kind of world. It would be so nice to reach it. 

But that was wrong. That was stupid. If it were someone else’s life, it would be easy to say such irresponsible things. 

Yuki alertedly stood up at the sound of shifting in the otherwise silent house. He noted that it was coming from upstairs. Yuki suddenly felt his anger rising again, as he paced up the stairs. He had something to get across. He had something he wanted to say. He was going to do what he could to set this right. He wished for Tohru’s happiness, and he was going to do whatever he could to achieve it. 

He navigated through the evening darkness of the lightly illuminated house, and slammed open the door of his destination. 

Before him sat Kyo, who was glumly sitting at his balcony of his empty room. He briefly turned his head to acknowledge him, his eyes showing no light. It was especially obvious as the flash of lightning lit the room. 

“Oh, I see,” Yuki began, after his brief observation, “so as soon as you get up, the first thing you consider doing is sitting around and doing nothing. At this point you’re moping around. What about Honda-san, and visiting her at the hospital? If I were you, I’d immediately be heading there! But instead, here you are being a lowlife.” 

Yuki walked towards him, maintaining the cold expression on his face. 

“Say what you want...but even if I were there, I would only hurt her,” Kyo muttered quietly, “I can’t protect her. I think it would be better off if you were with her.”

Yuki paused, trying to contain his anger. The words the cat was spouting was nonsense. Yuki knew how wrong that was very personally. There was a time where Yuki tried to be there for her, he genuinely did. But he admitted defeat as he began to rely on her instead. He essentially left her to Kyo; it was obvious even to him how much happier she was around him. 

Yuki took a few steps forward and stood in front of Kyo, looking down on him. The cat was pathetic; Yuki had always thought that. But even compared to the cat, the orange haired idiot in front of him was much worse. 

He raised his fist, and punched him so hard that even his own fist began to ache. Thunder began to strike rapidly, as his anger began to skyrocket. Kyo began to rub his bruise, quietly processing what had occurred. 

“‘You can’t protect’? What the hell is...’you can’t protect’?” Yuki questioned, fiercely glaring Kyo down, “so, would you be satisfied if you could catch someone who was falling off a cliff? Or if you could somehow wonderfully save someone from being run over by a car? That would be wonderful! Who do you think you are, some kind of superhero!? You’re just a stupid cat!!” 

His blood was boiling. Even in the darkness, the brief flashes of lighting gave a clear indication of Kyo’s reaction of major offence. 

“Shut the hell up! I’m not that sort of person! That’s your job isn’t it? I’d be more like you if I could!” Kyo screamed, as Yuki simply stared in awe, I wanted to BE you!!” 

Yuki gasped, his eyes widening as he processed it all. He imagined Kyo running away from him as he held onto his blue hat. Back then, as the autumn breeze blew across his face, Yuki only had the thought that Kyo hated him. 

But he wanted to be him? Even though, Yuki was the one who thought he felt that way his entire life? 

Not knowing how to react but still wanting to retaliate, Yuki threw Kyo another punch to the face. Kyo got knocked over. 

“Shut the hell up!” Yuki yelled as he towered over Kyo and began to punch him hard repetitively, “shut the hell up...! Shut the hell up! Shut the hell up! Shut...!!!” 

He stopped himself as Kyo defensively glared up at him. Then Yuki grabbed him by the arm, and pulled him up. 

“That...was me!! I wanted to be you! I idolised you!” Yuki cried, as he observed the surprised look on the person in front of him, “idolising...idolising...idolising..and yet you say it first so easily! Shut the hell up! Shut the hell up!”

The image of Kyo’s childish back running away remained engraved in Yuki’s back, as it had felt like he was chasing after him. He wanted to catch up and walk side to side with him, but when he does, Kyo just stopped running. 

Yuki let go of his hand and stood, facing away from him. 

“But you are Kyo, and I am Yuki, and that’s the way it is,” Yuki quietly mumbled, as he faced the wall while trying to contain his shaking, “I can only be myself, and I accept that. It’s the only way I can face myself.” 

From the corner of his eyes, he saw Kyo’s eyes go wide, as he just watched in the same awe Yuki had before. His trembling went out of control, as he kicked the wall in emotion. 

“You’ve been protecting her!!!” Yuki yelled, as he felt his eyes water, “you’ve been protecting her! She was happy. Content...you didn’t have any superpowers, but you were beside her...smiling and laughing right!?” 

Yuki imagined her smiling face. It was truely beautiful to see. But he found it the most beautiful when she was by Kyo’s side. 

“Do you really think it would be the same if I were beside her?” Yuki questioned, as his eyes began to sting really hard, “you should realise...there are some things that only you can do! So don’t make her cry! Be strong!!”

Yuki began to pant heavily, and looked away as Kyo stood up. Yuki’s vision blurred, as he let a few tears out. It bothered him that the cat was still there to watch him. 

“Why are you still doing nothing?” Yuki asked, folding his arms defensively and glaring, “I, the one you admire so much, am saying this to you, stupid cat.” 

Yuki observed the light in Kyo’s eyes return to him, as inklings of tears began to show. He then sighed softly, narrowing his eyes, as he turned away from him and walked off. 

Tears once again in his eyes, Kyo’s words echoed in his mind. 

“I wanted to be you...”

“Damnit,” Yuki muttered, his voice hoarse, “I don’t...like that guy.” 

Yuki couldn’t contain the smile on his face. He chuckled a little as he exited out of Kyo’s room himself. After all the emotions that erupted from him like the lightning and rain outside, Yuki was left with the small hint of light that came from the clouds clearing. 

If Yuki were to live without making any mistakes, it would be great, but there is no such path. Failing, tripping, losing the way, making mistakes, little by little, walking one step at a time, this was the only way. It really was the only way; on one’s own feet, even if there are many scars, in order to reach somewhere, some day, somebody. It was time to start walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a chapter with something good happening for once (and it kinda follows the canon too!)! I hope this gives you a break from every other bad thing that happened in this story lol. Anyway, next chapter will be another stray from canon, so good luck!


	5. Resemblance

Hatori had considered the aspect of finding another person an outrageous hope for cursed members of the zodiac. Perhaps having a short time with someone like Kana was already enough in his opinion; perhaps he was satisfied with that. All he could do was watch over them, so that they don’t make the same mistakes; so that their smiles don’t turn sour. 

Hatori was responsible for giving Kureno emergency treatment after Akito’s stunt from that morning. On the way to the hospital, he received a call from Yuki, who had informed him that Tohru was also injured by the family head. He had inferred that Shigure was handling Akito at the current moment, which reassured him; however he worried for Tohru’s condition. 

She was a nice girl; the optimism, innocence and kindness Tohru possessed resembled Kana’s. However, Akito’s sudden interference had sparked fear within him. Sure, compared to his former fiancée, she was definitely mentally stronger; she had even tearfully proclaimed that she would never regret meeting the Sohma family. She was a catalyst for change that occurred within zodiac members; Yuki and Kyo in particular. But he was aware of how Shigure was going to use her, and he was also aware of Akito’s impulsive tantrums. 

Hatori made himself comfortable in the empty waiting room of the hospital. The long day had physically and mentally exhausted him, and he personally just wanted to rest. After hearing the news of Kureno’s security, he immediately called the head family to inform them. He currently had to wait for the news of Tohru’s condition. 

“Why, hello there!” An elderly voice spoke up, as Hatori turned his head and nodded in acknowledgement. 

“You must be Honda’s grandfather,” Hatori replied, “it’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

“Likewise,” the grandfather replied, as he sat himself down next to him, “how’s Kyoko-san doing?” 

“Excuse me?” Hatori questioned. 

“Ah, sorry, Tohru,” the grandfather corrected himself before chuckling, “I always get corrected for it.” 

“Oh...no news about her yet,” Hatori replied with a small sigh, “they should be finished with her shortly.” 

“Thank you for staying and waiting then! I’m sure you must lead a busy life,” the grandfather smiled. 

“Not necessarily,” Hatori denied, before the conversation vanished into the air. 

Hatori had to dedicate majority of his time tending to the Akito, and the rest of it handling exclusively the Sohma family. However, after the events that had transpired that day, it was safe to say that he had relatively nothing to do. As he gazed at the anatomy posters that hung around the notice boards, he vaguely reflected on the push and pull that occurred between him and his zodiac spirit. At this current stage, because Hatori wasn’t necessarily yearning for change, he still remains on the losing side. He once had bright hope for the future, however, that vision was slowly becoming a fantasy as his world view became staler and bleaker. 

“Hello Sir,” the nurse’s voice spoke up, “Tohru Honda’s condition has been secured.” 

“Perfect,” Hatori replied as he stood up in sync with her grandfather, “is seeing her allowed?” 

“Maximum of three guests are allowed, however she is still unconscious,” the nurse replied, “visiting hours are over, so only family can stay.” 

After a nod of approval, the two of them had entered the dimly lit room. The wind from outside blew the curtains harshly, as Hatori observed the unconscious girl in front of her. The mental strain she was suffering was evident on her face, and her breathing was uneven. Her heart rate accelerated and calmed down inconsistently. Her positive and lively aura she gave off had practically vanished. He briefly wondered how Tohru would act when she awoke next. 

He sighed, “alright, I need to take my leave.”

“Sure! I’m going to stay with Ky—Tohru, alright?” Her grandfather responded, “thank you for popping by.” 

“Oh definitely,” Hatori replied, before leaving the room. 

When the doctor got outside, he found Kyo crouched on the floor, panting heavily. 

“Is everything alright?” Hatori asked, standing over him like a parent. 

“Shoot!” Kyo hissed, while skyrocketing up into standing position, “what the heck are you doing here!?” 

“What do you mean? I was responsible for checking on Honda’s condition,” Hatori replied with a deadpanned expression. 

“Is she alright?” Kyo asked, eagerly looking up at him. 

“She’s been secured,” Hatori responded with a small smile. 

Kyo sunk to his knees, sighing heavily, “oh my god! She’s okay!” 

Hatori had seen the obvious indication that Kyo was romantically attracted to her. Tohru had sparked a distinct calm nature within the boy, and it became increasingly evident as time went on. Her positive influence was indeed helping him grow well. 

He felt paranoid with this knowledge. He had been in love before; and he definitely watched all his efforts meet a tragic end. He had merely watched on, hoping and praying that history didn’t repeat itself. 

“I’m heading home now,” Kyo chuckled to himself cynically, “that damn rat sent me here when visiting hours were over.” 

“Understood,” Hatori nodded, “give my regards to Yuki and Shigure when you do get home.” 

“Sure, see ya,” Kyo replied. 

Hatori watched on, as the cat’s back disappeared into the night time darkness. The one thing he wanted was the future turning out differently. He wanted a stray, a change from the monotonous repeats that life threw at him. He saw through Momiji and Yuki that the same events would transpire no matter what the progression was. However he continued to have a small glimmer of idealistic hope that maybe this time something different may occur. He didn’t know why he did it; it was a very illogical thing to do. 

The next morning, Hatori was already dreading the aspect that he had to visit Akito for her morning check up. He hadn’t seen her the whole day, so he briefly wondered what her mood was going to be like. On his way there, the obnoxious sound of his phone ringing distracted him from his thoughts. He didn’t like the person he saw on the caller ID. 

“What do you want, Shigure?” Hatori sighed in annoyance after answering the call. 

“Haa-san! Don’t be so mean!” Shigure whined. It was pathetic; he needed to stop being childish and start acting his age. 

“What do you want, Shigure?” Hatori repeated, tempted to facepalm. 

“But why—“ Shigure began, in his annoying tone. 

“I’m cutting the call,” Hatori interrupted, his head beginning to throb in pain just from hearing his voice. 

“No! No! Listen!” Shigure spoke up, before his voice became serious, “I want to update you on Akito.”

“Oh?” Hatori stopped in his tracks, “what’s the news?” 

“So I was forced to have the job of tranquillising her,” Shigure explained nonchalantly, “she was rather panicked after she went and stabbed Tohru. Kureno wasn’t there to do it, so it happened to be all on me.” 

“How did that turn out?” Hatori asked, curiosity evident in his voice. 

“She’s calm now, but now that she is, she’s actually feeling kind of smug,” Shigure replied, “apparently, Tohru was mentally affected by something to the point that she became unresponsive, and so—“

“Trauma symptoms?” Hatori interrupted abruptly, as images of Kana’s state entered his brain. Actively rejecting these chilling thoughts, he listened in as the dog continued. 

“Yeah, according to Yuki; Kyo apparently did something to make her cry, but hearing that made me feel a bit alarmed,” Shigure responded halfheartedly, “it was outside of what I had foreseen.” 

“Yeah right,” Hatori refuted, “you were expecting someone to break in the process all along.” 

“Oh, you got me,” Shigure chuckled before continuing, “well anyway, it seems that Akito’s plan is to make a move on Tohru while she’s mentally weak.” 

“Oh I see...” Hatori responded, disappointed in the accuracy of his prediction, “I’m cutting the call now.” 

Before hearing Shigure’s words that came after, the doctor had already ended the call. He was tired of witnessing the same hope he held onto so strongly being doused by unforeseen circumstances involving the zodiac curse. He continuously wondered if his idealism was just wishful thinking; if what he believed was just a fruitless endeavour. The more his desire of a positive future was denied, the more he begun to believe it was true. 

Hatori shook his head, and took a few paces before arriving in front of his family head’s door. He paused slightly, dreading his sinking optimism, before knocking on the door. 

“Akito, I’m here for your checkup,” Hatori announced. 

“Ah, Hatori, come in! It’s good to see you!” Akito called from inside, as the doctor slid open the door. 

Hatori merely set down his things and nodded at her, before he began unpacking his equipment. 

“Oh Hatori, you’re coming with me when I visit Tohru at the hospital today,” Akito happily declared, as Hatori froze. This development was one that was all too familiar to the sea dragon. The resemblance was uncanny. It was so obvious to him, but he didn’t want to put it into words. 

“I’d rather not...” he protested, his voice hesitant, “I know where this is going.”

“Oh so you know where this is going,” Akito mused, as Hatori suddenly felt her arms wrapping around him from behind, “then surely you know what I want from you.” 

It was as if she was able to read his mind. Now, the sea dragon was forced to give the situation a description.

“You...” Hatori began with a deep breath, “want me to erase Honda’s memories.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you guys think of the interesting perspective I took? I always wondered what Hatori would think in the fan fiction where Tohru’s memories are erased, so I really wanted to dig into it this chapter. 
> 
> So, what I tried doing this chapter was give MAJOR foreshadowing to the point that Hatori’s perspective mirrored yours - that they could see it coming from a mile away. So what did you think?
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!!


	6. Precious

Momiji had long decided to live his life bearing all his memories. Even if they were sad memories, memories that only ever hurt him, memories that he sometimes wished he could forget; if he could bear and face those memories and work hard to accept them then he believed that one day he could become someone who wasn’t defeated by those memories. He wanted to believe he could. He wanted to believe that there wasn’t a single memory that was okay to forget. 

Truthfully, when his mother chose to forget about him, Momiji wished she didn’t make that decision. He wanted her to try her best for him. But, really, that was just his own selfish wish. 

When he had told Tohru this, she shed tears for him and embraced him in her arms. He hadn’t been able to open up about his past before then, and so when he did, he was honestly expecting rejection. It was common for members of the zodiac to face rejection, his mother being a great example. But when Tohru accepted him with open arms, Momiji was truly able to cry. He was truly able to express how sad he was; but he was also truly able to express how happy he was. 

He had always considered Tohru a great person. Right from the moment he met her, he found that she was warm-hearted, sweet and empathetic. When he projected Tohru onto the main character of the traveller story, it’s because he saw her genuine happiness when she showered her unconditional kindness. But when that very kindness was sprinkled onto him; he felt special, he felt needed, he felt love. That’s the moment he fell in love with Tohru Honda. 

“What?! Tohru got stabbed by Akito today!?” Momiji exclaimed, unable to hide the distress and worry in his voice. It was currently late in the night at the Sohma compound when Haru gathered him, Momiji, Kagura, Hiro, Kisa and Rin together to give them that update. 

“I-Is she alright?” Kisa asked fearfully, tears in her eyes.

“Yeah, according to Yuki, she was taken to the hospital, and then after that Hatori confirmed that she was okay,” Haru responded. Momiji sighed in relief, before his head turned to Rin, who began to speak up. 

“Of course it’s Akito again,” Rin scoffed with venom in her voice, “if we’re not careful, he could do something else. This is why I told her not to meddle...” 

“Isuzu—“ Kagura began hesitantly, but got interrupted. 

“No, you can’t say anything,” Rin snapped, “this is why she shouldn’t have been involved with our family curse to begin with.” 

“Rin, calm down,” Haru protested. 

“I can’t calm down!” Rin yelled, panting heavily, “not in this situation!” 

With that, the horse stormed away. 

“I’ll go after her,” Haru declared, as he began to follow her. 

Momiji took a moment to start thinking. Akito went to hurt Tohru. He was pushed to the far extremes, and the rabbit began to feel like he had a hand to play in that. His curse broke, and he told Akito that he had no inclination to stay with him. But would staying with him have protected Tohru? 

He suddenly got distracted by the concerned look Hiro was giving him, but once he had noticed, the sheep looked away. 

“Kisa, let’s go,” Hiro suggested, before grabbing her hand and walking off. Kisa was in tears of worry. 

That just left Kagura and Momiji. The wind began to blow the night air, as silence settled in the atmosphere. 

“I...wonder how Kyo-kun’s doing...” Kagura breathed as she stared up into the sky, “does he know?” 

“Probably,” Momiji replied quietly as he gazed off into the distance, “I wonder if he’s as hurt as I am...possibly more.”

The wind blew so hard that the last part was barely audible. Momiji was fine with that. 

“Huh?” Kagura questioned. 

“It’s nothing,” Momiji replied, before he began to walk back home, “bye Kagura.” 

That night, Momiji was unable to sleep. Thoughts of Tohru, Kyo, Akito and the curse swam through his mind. He wondered what he could have done to protect her. He wondered if he should’ve told Akito and Kyo something different when his curse broke. He wondered how far his love for Tohru went. And when he made the decision to go see her in the hospital to answer his questions, morning had come. 

Today was a school day; but it completely slipped the rabbit’s radar of top priority. He put on his school uniform, grabbed his bag and made his way to the hospital. He was going to turn up at school later. 

When he got there, he went to the reception desk. 

“Hello, am I allowed to go meet Tohru Honda?” Momiji asked, keeping his voice and face as pleasant as possible despite his lack of sleep. 

“My apologies, but are you a relative or someone who lives with her?” The lady at the desk inquired. 

“No, I’m a friend,” Momiji replied, grabbing the handle of his bag tightly. 

“Oh, I’m sorry then, only those people are allowed to see her,” The lady replied. 

“I see, thank you,” Momiji bowed slightly, unable to contain his disappointment. But just as he was about to turn and leave, he heard an all to familiar laugh that came from one of the rooms. It was Akito. 

He briefly remembered that Kureno was also here, but that didn’t stop him from running towards the rooms to check. 

Momiji slightly slid open the door to listen to the family head’s taunts. 

“You thought you were able to defy me, you thought you were able to meddle in our sacred bonds, you thought that you could win against me!” Akito listed mockingly, “but now look at you, you’re bedridden, and utterly broken. You can’t do anything, Tohru Honda. You can’t save anyone.” 

Momiji gasped as he heard Tohru’s name. This was her room! But why was Akito there when visitors weren’t allowed? 

He peaked inside and saw how mentally destroyed she looked. He also saw Hatori glumly standing on the side. The mood of the entire room was turmoil. 

“I...! I’m...!” Tohru began, before she froze. Her eyes went wide in distress and she began to breathe heavily. Momiji felt his heart hurt as he watched her struggling to form words. 

“Got anything you have to say for yourself?” Akito smirked, “why’d you decide to meddle?” 

“I...I...wanted to...!” Tohru gasped, before breaking down into tears, “I wanted to do my best for everyone...Yuki-kun, Isuzu-san, Momiji-kun...everyone...” 

Momiji felt his knees wobble, as he was prepared to just drop onto the floor in emotion. Tears formed in his eyes, as he continued watching. 

“But...I’m just a...to Kyo-kun I...” Tohru attempted to continue, before she hugged her chest tightly, beginning to cry.

Momiji wanted to run in and hug her. He wanted to do anything to make her tears stop. But the weight of his emotions caused him to freeze. It felt like time had stopped everywhere except the contents of that room. 

He thought of the traveller in his “Idiot traveller” story. Just as the traveller happily gave away every ounce of belongings she had, despite the negative impacts it had on her, Tohru had happily taken on everyone’s problems while it destroyed her to even hold onto them.

Thanks to that, she was in the state he saw her today. Without even knowing the full context of the situation, Momiji was able to imagine that Tohru considered herself a burden who could not save anyone. Akito was exploiting it. He was driving it in; and Momiji could not forgive him. 

“Yes...let me finish that sentence for you,” Akito agreed, “you’re just a setback to everyone.”

Tohru’s breath hitched.

“That’s why...isn’t it best if both sides just moved on from this?” Akito went up close to her, and caressed her face, “you don’t need to weigh down everyone with your baggage, and you can also be free from it all.” 

Momiji took a moment to think what this meant. For her to stop weighing everyone down, and for Tohru to be free...

“What exactly are you trying to tell me?” Tohru questioned, as a look of terror etched onto her face, “Akito-san, what are you—?”

Hatori was in the room....everything clicked together. 

“Hatori, erase her memories,” Akito ordered, as Tohru gasped. 

Momiji slammed open the door. 

“I’m not allowing that!” Momiji spoke up following pure instinct, “you’re not hurting Tohru any longer!” 

“M-Momiji-kun!” Tohru exclaimed. Momiji smiled at Tohru, before he shot a cold glare to Akito.

“As someone who’s no longer involved with the curse, you have no say,” Akito commented, as he walked towards Momiji. 

“I’ve had enough of you hurting everyone around me, I think I have plenty of a say,” Momiji refuted firmly, “the more you do this, the more you cover up how alone you are, and you fail to realise that you’ll eventually end up alone anyway if you continue.”

Akito punched Momiji onto the floor. The rabbit felt the pain travel through his entire body. Funny enough, he got punched in the same spot during their trip to the beach. Ironically, he was also trying to protect Tohru then.

“Momiji-kun!” Tohru screamed, as she tried her best to move out of bed. But she flinched as her hands flew to her stomach, and she began to curled up on the bed. 

As Momiji began to stand, Akito punched him again; this time with more force. 

“You can’t defy me, because while you remain a mortal, I am god!” Akito declared with an insane grin, “Hatori, do it quickly. I’ll handle the intruder.” 

Momiji struggled to stand, his entire frame shook in pain. But before he could, Akito stepped on his stomach; pressing hard. The rabbit was beginning to choke on the air around him. His gaze began to get blurry with tears as his gaze fell on Tohru. He blinked away the tears to get a more clearer view. 

“Momiji-kun!” Tohru called out, as she sat up and tried to move to him. She was trying to move past the pain to come and save him. But it was futile, as Hatori went and stood in front of her. 

“I want you to watch this happen...you can’t do anything against me after all,” Akito said, as he gained a hold on the rabbit. Momiji wasn’t a physically strong person like Haru, Kyo and Kagura, so all he could do was cursed his inability to do anything but watch; as Akito said. 

“T-Tohru—“ Momiji choked out, as he watched Hatori sit her up, and grab her forehead with his hand. The pain in his stomach continued getting worse. 

“Hatori-san, please....” Tohru begged, her own weak, trembling hands trying to push away his arm, “please don’t do it...I have to...I have so much I need to—“

“I’m sorry Honda,” Hatori replied, unable to hide the emotions of guilt and pain in his voice, “I’m sorry but I...I can’t go against Akito. It’s just how the curse works.” 

“Hatori-san...” Tohru protested, but his hands were firmly in place as he was ready to perform his duty. 

Momiji began to shed tears of his own. He knew the full nature of the curse; when the god gives an order, the other spirits have no choice but to comply. No matter how differently he had felt, he had to always play tug of war with his spirit; and it felt like in the process, he was being ripped apart. Hatori must’ve been feeling the same way. 

“Anything you want to say?” Hatori asked, “any last words to anyone in particular?” 

“I...” Tohru began. 

“No, don’t give her that option,” Akito interrupted, “the girl doesn’t deserve it.” 

“I’m sorry Honda,” Hatori repeated, his eyes closed, “I truly am, incredibly sorry.” 

Bright light struck the room, as Tohru fell backwards. It was almost like a picture was being snapped from a digital camera. Momiji gasped, as he remembered the event of his mother losing her memory play out in front of him again. 

When Akito moved his foot off of Momiji, the rabbit ran to Tohru’s side. 

“No, no, no, Tohru!” Momiji began to cry, resting his head on her shoulder. Her body had looked so fragile. She looked so torn, so broken. But now he had to face the fact that he wasn’t able to save her. 

“Hah, take it how you want, I’m not involved with you anymore,” Akito chuckled mockingly, “let’s go Hatori.” 

His grief began to hit him hard after he was left alone. He realised that now, her memories of all the members of the Sohmas were gone. She was going to disappear from their lives forever. It would be as if they had never met. He would have to treat Tohru the same way he treated his mother and Momo. The pain began unbearable as he sobbed louder. 

Momiji had decided to live his life bearing all his memories. Even if they were sad memories, memories that only ever hurt him, memories that he sometimes wished he could forget; if he could bear and face those memories and work hard to accept them then he believed that one day he could become someone who wasn’t defeated by those memories. He wanted to believe he could. He wanted to believe that there wasn’t a single memory that was okay to forget. 

When he had told Tohru this, she shed tears for him and embraced him in her arms. But more importantly, she agreed with him so sincerely. She believed that too. She wanted to embrace all of her memories and keep believing that. So that she wouldn’t be defeated; so that someday, she could go even further and consider those memories precious. This wasn’t what she wanted. Momiji knew that this really wasn’t what she wanted. 

His tears became uncontrollable, as everything piled up on him. Why did it have to be this way? Why did someone as precious as Tohru have to face this terrible pain? How can Momiji live on knowing that he failed to protect her? How was everyone else going to react to this news?

Then, a more alarming question entered his mind; one that terrified him to his core:

How was he going to live without her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how’d you like it? Of course, Momiji’s perspective kills. Also, notice I’ve referred to Akito as a male in this chapter - Momiji doesn’t know lol, so that’s why XD. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed...I’m gonna grow grab some tissues and cry because I created this abomination.


	7. Confrontation

Kyo was prepared for the anger, the cold looks and the stare down. As he faced Hanajima and Uotani who had blocked his way, all he felt was the cold sweat trickling down his face. Yuki and Haru stood off to the side, as the after school hustle was in full swing. 

“Well...ah..I’m going to visit...” Kyo stuttered pathetically, “can I pass?” 

“‘Visit’...” Uotani repeated mockingly, as the cat felt his hair stand up. 

“Did you hear Arisa? He’s going to visit,” Hanajima spoke angelically, “how sweet...” 

“Hanajima, that just makes us feel so warm inside, doesn’t it...” Uotani replied sweetly, “I think I almost fell in love with him just now...”

“Oh no, Arisa...uhuhu...” Hanajima giggled. 

Their quiet laughter filled Kyo’s ears to the point he felt uncomfortable. The sarcasm was evident enough to creep him out. 

“Look...if you guys want to say something...” Kyo began hesitantly. 

“What kind of delusion is that, saying that you’re going to visit with that guilty face, asshole!!!” Uotani boomed, the sudden aura change scaring the cat senseless, “we’re going to string you up, spin the rope and let you fly, aah!? Hanajima! Bring me the yari**!” 

“Yari**...” Kyo muttered, closing his eyes and looking away. These two scared him - especially when it came to Tohru. Not that he didn’t deserve it. But a sword was an exaggeration, right...?

“Well...no, Arisa,” Hanajima protested, “that would leave evidence...” 

The chill that went down his spine indicated to the cat that they were serious. They weren’t going to exaggerate this one. 

“Well...you treated Tohru like a dishrag!” Uotani justified, facepalming, “at least she pulled through all right, but that’s not the issue here, is it!” 

“Well...I understand...” Kyo replied, guilt from that day washing over him. 

“Understand!? An understanding person would call Tohru ‘delusional’?!” Uotani questioned. 

Kyo processed that rather slowly. How did they find out? 

“What...how!? You know...” Kyo stuttered frantically before it clicked that Yuki knew. He quickly turned to him, to see him looking super indifferent. 

“Oh... come to think of it, I might have let it slip...maybe?” Yuki acted, before he gave him a mocking smile, “I’m sorry...I didn’t expect everyone to get so angry over this...I do apologise...” 

The sarcasm disgusted him to his core. 

“Hey, we ban you from visiting Tohru!” Uotani declared, startling the cat.

“What!?” Kyo exclaimed, “w...wait a minute.” 

“What are you going to do about it?” Hanajima questioned, “ we need more than just apologies...such a thing has no meaning. Tohru-kun doesn’t blame you. Is Tohru-kun really wishing for an apology? If you really are sorry, isn’t there something else you could do?” 

Kyo froze as he processed all of that. Tohru wouldn’t blame him, she’s not that type of person. There really was something he could be doing. Not just for the sake of Kyoko, but for the sake of Tohru and himself too. 

“Write a poem or something!” Uotani laughed, breaking the mood. 

“Oh, such a nice idea...” Hanajima giggled. 

Kyo decided to address the issue at hand. 

“Okay...I understand...you guys are seriously upset...” Kyo spoke quietly, as the two of them stopped to listen to him, “anyway...well, I know that there are things I have to do. I have to pull myself together.” 

His gaze travelled to the floor in shame. 

“You know what...” Uotani yelled, before smacking him, “you’re too late!!”

“Ouch...” Kyo muttered, before facing the two of them. 

“Around now...you should be a man!” Uotani advised, before the two of them turned to leave. 

“And so on and so forth, everyone blames Tohru’s accident on Kyo?” Haru asked. 

“It’s fine...” Kyo replied softly, “it never changes. I’m a bad person. I feel relieved that they’re mad at me.” 

Yuki began to walk away. 

“Are you really not going to visit Tohru because of those two girls?” Haru asked before smiling at him, “Kyo is stupid.” 

Kyo frowned, “I know.” 

He really was stupid. More than he could ever believe. Thinking back on it, he realised how much his words must have destroyed her. He called her stupid for loving him, invalidated her stance by bringing up her mother, and then called her love an illusion. They must’ve hurt her so much; she’s already suffered from losing the person she loved most once. But he was only focused on himself. He was always focussed on running away from situations he hated. 

But this time, he was going to pull himself together. He was going to earn Tohru’s forgiveness, and the right to walk by her side. He was going to face his confinement; face all of his problems, and move forward. He was ready to put up with anything if it meant he was worthy for her. 

That’s what drove him to stand in front of his father’s home that afternoon. 

But it was very difficult. Kyo felt sick standing in front of that hose like that. He was going to do it, he was sure of it. He just didn’t know how to start. 

He thought of Tohru. Her smile, her voice, her words...everything. That’s when he finally gathered up the courage to enter. He opened the door, after the maid approached him tentatively. 

“Ah...dad...” Kyo began. 

“Huh?” His dad questioned, after turning his head from the television and standing, “who said it was okay to let him in?”

“I-it’s...” the maid began. 

“What did you come here for!?” His dad demanded, “what business do you have to so calmly enter this house!?” 

Kyo took the harsh attitude. He was going to face it. With Tohru as encouragement, he was going to do it. He was going to do it for her. 

“Usually...aren’t people usually at work at this time of day?” Kyo began hesitantly, “you don’t seem to have a steady job...” 

“Shut up I’ve been working steadily...” His father defended, “just recently...I haven’t been feeling well. I’m taking a break and who do you think is the cause of all this...?” 

Kyo thought of his mother; though his memory was blurry. 

“...are you saying it’s my fault?” Kyo asked quietly. 

“Yes that’s right! You’d better admit that you...killed your mother! Don’t think that you’re forgiven because you weren’t directly involved! You...” 

Yes, Kyo was prepared for this. He was prepared for his mother to be brought up. But it hurt just as much anyway. Being blamed for her death over and over was like shoving him into a hot bath several times and still feeling the pain. 

As his father continued screaming at him, Kyo felt disgust, fear, and despair all mixed together in one pot; boiling under pressure. But as Uotani had so eloquently told him, he had to be a man. 

“Well, then, alright. It was my fault,” Kyo admitted, as he felt his grip on his bag tighten. 

His father froze, before he began to laugh. No, that wasn’t the word. He went insane. 

“Ha...Ha! Haha! Accept...accepted!? Finally...finally!! Finally accepted! I heard it!” His father laughed, before turning to his frightened maid, “hey!! You heard it too! Call the main house!! Right now, let them take him away!! Y...Yes. With the guilt of being a murderer on your shoulders, you’d better never come out!!” 

Kyo took a deep breath. 

“That, I refuse...” he spoke up bravely, “I am not going there. I live on the outside...indefinitely. I came to make that clear.” 

Kyo was shaking. It was funny how unnatural this was. Normally, one wouldn’t have to declare this. But he couldn’t help it. Tohru never looked down on him, or looked at him in disgust. She was what’s most important. 

“Besides...there is someone I want to be with from now to forever,” Kyo concluded, as the thought of Tohru continued to push him forward. 

“Not good...what are you talking about? You, who cannot be forgiven? You for whom becoming ‘normal’ is not possible...?” His father quietly asked, his eyes wide. 

Kyo stood in mere silence, waiting for the peak of his wrath. 

“I don’t forgive you...!” His father spat, as Kyoko’s former words shook him once more, “no, you have to pay for your sin to me! You have to pay for me!! Because of you, how much shame I’ve felt! You’ve ruined my life! All because she brought you into this world...because you were born!!” 

Kyo’s eyes went wide with fear. He vaguely remembered these words being spoken before. His hands were trembling, as his father continued. 

“I don’t forgive you, I will definitely never forgive you. Fuck you!” His dad screamed, “you guys rubbed my face in the dirt of shame, and I’ll bet you were enjoying every bit of it!!”

“For such a child to be born. Disappear. Both of you, disappear.” 

He remembered his mother again and gasped. 

“Ah...did you..that...” Kyo questioned quietly, “did you say such things...? To my mother...” 

His father grabbed his collar. 

“Are you shifting the guilt to me...!? It’s not my fault, you forced her to do it! It’s not my fault!” His father refuted desperately, “it’s not my fault!” 

Kyo heard his own words echoing through the person in front of him. 

“Not my fault that this kind of monster...that he was born. It’s not my fault,” His father denied, “everything is your fault!!” 

Kyo wondered if his mother felt sad, being alone. Like a weight was closing in around her. He wondered if she suffered. When Kyo was a kid, it was too difficult and he didn’t understand. He couldn’t afford to say that he would understand when he was older. But, if she was dead, then they couldn’t get back anything that was lost. 

Kyo wanted her to be alive; and even though he still felt the same, it was too late. He didn’t want for his mother to die, he didn’t want for her to be thrown away while she was still alive. 

Kyo pushed his dad away from him. 

“I will not throw anything away any longer...anymore,” Kyo declared, “I will do what I can, as long as I am alive, to live.” 

“Such a thing...” His father began, grabbing his hand. 

“Leave me—“ Kyo interrupted, grabbing a hold of his instead, using his martial art technique to escape his hold. 

“GYAAAA!!” His father screamed insanely, “he’s going to kill me...somebody...somebody come quick...he’s going to kill me...! He’s going to kill me!” 

“Fa—“ Kyo began, full of shock. 

“He’s going to kill me!” His father yelled, as Kyo decided to be quiet and let go of him. He decided to give in for the day. There was no getting to him. 

“I’ll be back,” Kyo decided, as he turned around and began to leave, 

“Hey...I don’t forgive you! I’ll definitely never forgive you...” His dad’s voiced echoed. 

As he walked away from the house, Kyo thought to himself that he had to do it. He had to continue to face his problems.

He gazed up into the sky. He had to continue living. For Tohru’s sake, and also his mother’s sake. That’s what he had decided. 

Suddenly, without any warning, he felt his nausea springing back up. Walking became difficult, and he staggered off to a pole on the side. Everything became so overwhelming that he had to let it all out. All that self control, all that fear, all that guilt just out. 

He started puking hard on the side, getting the acidic feeling in his throat as he did so. As he coughed the rest of it out, he heard a loud, “what!?” 

“What are you doing, throwing up here!!” The familiar voice of Hiro screamed out. 

“All that tension released...” Kyo panted, “like a tight rope being cut...”

“You don’t make any sense....” Hiro complained loudly, “dirty!!”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Kisa’s worried expression and Hiro glaring daggers. 

“Do you feel a little better?” Kisa asked quietly. 

“Probably if you threw up that much,” Hiro responded dismissively. 

“Ah...well...onii-chan...this...” Kisa offered, as Kyo wiped his face with his shirt. He turned to her to grab it and saw Tohru’s reflection within her. Was it the gesture, or was it a result of him thinking of her too much? Kyo didn’t know. Instead of mulling over it, he decided to take the handkerchief. 

“Thank you...” Kyo nodded, as he watched a smile form on Kisa’s face. 

“Anyways, all thanks aside, you’re going to have to clean that up,” Kisa decided, “I’ll help.”

“What? No I’ll do it myself,” Kyo protested. She really was like a mini Tohru. 

“No, I care!!” Hiro insisted annoyedly, before they walked off to find something to help. 

Kyo sighed, as he stared down at the handkerchief. If he had truly seen the vision of Tohru, he had to be seriously sick. He wanted to see. He wanted to see Tohru. 

“Hey! Are you okay!?” The distant voice of Hiro called out, which snapped Kyo out as he looked towards the direction they had gone. 

Ahead, he saw Momiji standing in front of them, holding the most devastated expression on his face. His face looked tear stricken and his mess of a hair covered his eyes. Kyo left his post and ran ahead up to him.

“Momiji! What happened?” Kyo called out as he approached. 

“Onii-chan...” Kisa acknowledged, before worriedly looking up at him. 

Momiji looked up at Kyo. The look in his eyes completely took him aback. He looked demolished, despaired, guilty...the rabbit’s face held all the emotions Kyo was bearing over the past few days. Knowing that Momiji felt the same way as him made him realise that something must’ve happened to Tohru. Something grave. Something irreversible. Something Kyo couldn’t fathom. 

“Momiji...what happened?” Kyo asked, the bravery from earlier settling in. He wasn’t sure he was prepared for the answer; but it seemed he wasn’t prepared for anything that happened today, as much as he thought he was. 

“Tohru...her memories are gone,” Momiji replied, “just earlier, Hatori had erased them.”

Kyo’s world froze, as he felt everything he had attempted to do that day crash down on him. His own words came rushing back to him, as he began to realise the futility of it all. 

“There’s someone I want to be with from now to forever.”

Suddenly, he felt his nausea and dizziness come back. He felt sick. The nature of it all, the convenience of it all, just made him feel sick. He couldn’t even decipher the words of shock from Hiro and Kisa. He felt his vision spinning. Kyo wondered if fainting was a new form of running away. The thought that he couldn’t live without her began to pain him as he realised he was going to have to. Well, that didn’t seem to matter. All his thoughts were being swallowed by this black hole that was created in his brain. Tohru’s smile began to disappear from view, as the very thing he was fighting for began to crumble. 

Kyo couldn’t breathe, neither could he talk, and neither could he see. The sun was suddenly too hot to stand under, as he broke into a huge sweat. He staggered to a side and felt himself collapse against the wall. He couldn’t take it anymore. 

He wanted to see Tohru...but now he couldn’t. He wanted to continue living for his mother and Tohru, but now it felt like he wanted to die all over again. He wanted to face his problems this time and pull himself together, but it felt like he was running away and becoming the bad person again. 

Kyo had only thought of himself. He selfishly reflected on only himself. He only said what he wanted to say. He completely ignored Tohru’s feelings. And he should’ve known it would happen: to never see someone again and to never have the chance to apologise; Kyo should’ve known that it would happen. For Kyo to repeat the same mistakes again and again; it was as if he had never known. 

It really was, as if he had never known. 

That was the last thought in his mind, before it became nothingness. Everything just became nothing. Before Kyo had even known it, his consciousness had faded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **yari = a type Japanese sword. The manga mentions this. ANYWAY! How was the somewhat canon chapter? Or rather, how was the chapter where I built up Kyo’s redemption, only to shoot it down? XD. I wonder what’ll happen next chapter?? Hope you enjoyed!!


	8. Support

“Yun-Yun,” Kakeru called, grasping Yuki’s attention, “Honda-san is in the hospital. Is it serious?” 

“Eh...how did you know about that?” Yuki asked in response, confusion etched on his face, as he began to write on his document. 

“I heard ikemen orange** was being charged by a couple class members yesterday,” Kakeru responded, “Honda-san’s best friends I think...” 

“Ah that...” Yuki venomously spat, his annoyance towards Kyo blossoming again. 

“Uh, no, what’s with your evil smile, Yun-Yun?” Kakeru gulped before continuing, “so it’s true. She’s in the hospital. You should have told me.” 

“It’s not something to be spread around,” Yuki justified, appreciating the brunette’s concern, “Honda-san doesn’t want anyone to worry about her needlessly.” 

“...so, is the cause for her hospitalisation really ikemen orange?” Kakeru questioned. 

Yuki chuckled fondly, “no...but it’s fine. She’s in a stable condition right now.” 

“What? What’s wrong with you?” Kakeru questioned, “do you want to borrow my chest to cry on?” 

“Don’t kid with me, I’ll hurl you into the sun,” Yuki responded without skipping a beat. 

“Eek!! Scary!!” Kakeru screamed, as he attacked Nao who was concentrating on his work. 

“Gyaa!! Get off me!!” Nao retaliated, trying to push the older guy off him.

“I’m not physically fit for this sort of situation!” Yuki reacted, feeling overwhelmed. 

Actually, it wasn’t as bad as Kakeru had made it out to be; Yuki didn’t feel depressed. Honestly, he felt a bit proud even though a weakness was still there. Yuki wondered if something inside him was changing. If so, it wasn’t only his power; someone’s support was there as well. 

Yuki turned to Kakeru, who was bullying Nao. Kakeru had indeed become one of the pillars in his support system. From the beginning, when Yuki had seen himself as ‘lame’ and ‘pathetic’, Kakeru viewed him as ‘interesting’. After they had come to their mutual understanding and trust after they had a tiny argument, they opened up to each other like true friends. Yuki felt better speaking his mind to him, and he was genuinely happy when Kakeru did the same in return. 

He then turned to Machi, who was sorting out the file cabinet. He had no thoughts. She made him feel something indescribable; something out of Yuki’s comprehension. Every time he looked at her, a lens of warmth clouded his vision. The more he got to know her, the more that feeling became stronger. It was almost out of his control. 

“Hey,” Kimi interrupted as Yuki turned towards her, “I’ve been wondering for a long time...what is Honda-san’s relationship with Yun-Yun?” 

“Eh?” Yuki questioned, but just as he was about to answer, he was interrupted thoroughly. 

“Mother,” Kakeru blatantly responded, embarrassing the rat. 

“Whaaaat!?” Kimi questioned, making him feel worse, “what is it really? That’s not funny. Yun-Yun, Kakeru is saying weird things.” 

“But why?” Kakeru laughed, as a goofy smile appeared on his face, “she protects the frail Yun-Yun, right?” 

“You irritate me...!” Yuki growled, completely contradicting his earlier thoughts. 

“Do you mean sweet hearts?” Kimi asked innocently. 

“No, I meant ‘mother’,” Kakeru responded. Oh, he was seriously being blunt, and the shame Yuki felt went through the roof. 

“What? I don’t understand—“ Kimi began. 

“Never mind...” Yuki dismissed frustratedly. 

“I understand the meaning of ‘sugar daddy’” Kimi added. 

“I think...you have the wrong idea...” Yuki sighed, completely fed up at the escalation of this conversation. 

“Kimi, you’re so mature!” Kakeru swooned. 

Yes, despite what it looked like, Kakeru was definitely someone that Yuki considered important.

Later that afternoon, Kakeru opted to go shopping for a gift for Tohru. As of that afternoon, they were allowed to visit her, so the brunette decided to go visit her, 

“Okay, I’ve decided on the gift,” Kakeru nodded, as Yuki gave him the questioning look, “I hope Honda-san listens to CDs. It’s rock music...if I don’t know what to get for someone, I always get something I would want.” 

“Are you really going to the hospital?” Yuki asked. His best friend really did seem to be going out of his way. 

“Yep,” Kakeru replied, “I’m going for both myself and Komaki....is there a problem with that?” 

“Ah...no...” Yuki replied hesitantly, “no problem...”

“Hey, Yun-Yun! There’s an adult DVD place here!! You can’t go in though!!” Kakeru yelled idiotically. 

Yuki just didn’t want his relatives to meet him. The reason was obvious. 

After purchasing the CDs, the two of them existed the shop together. 

“Is Yun-Yun coming with us?” Kakeru asked. 

“I was going to go tomorrow...but maybe I’ll come with you...” Yuki decided, due to the reason mentioned above. 

“Don’t come!!” Kakeru yelled dramatically. 

“Why not?” Yuki questioned, confused. 

“I’m a completely different person in front of Honda-san!! I’m so embarrassed...” Kakeru replied, his act getting over the top, “well, thank you for coming with me!!” 

“Eh?” Yuki reacted, feeling left out and dense. 

“Hey! Yuki...” Kakeru called out, as he began to walk away, “take care of yourself.” 

Yuki was already surprised by the sudden use of his real name, and not the nickname; but his words after made his heart flutter. Watching his best friend walk off, he began to smile fondly. 

“I’m not sure if he understand how much it means...” Yuki chuckled. 

Kakeru didn’t know how much it meant to Yuki, to have someone’s concern. As though he was being supported...as he was being weak. He wanted to be himself without being weak. 

There was a time when Yuki thought about how, despite being amongst other people in a crowd, how many people would notice if he disappeared. But now, things were different. 

He stopped at the sight of a huge Mogeta plushie within a shop run by an old lady. It’s existence greatly shocked him. 

“Welcome,” the lady greeted. 

“Ah...well...excuse me...that thing over there....” Yuki asked, trying to form words, “is that real!?” 

“N-?” The lady questioned before sighing, “of course...” 

“Well then...I’ll take it,” Yuki declared. 

“Yes, yes,” The lady replied, as Yuki’s phone began to ring.

“Ah...excuse me for a second,” Yuki dismissed, as he turned away to answer the call, “hello? Who’s there?” 

“Machi,” the voice on the other end answered shyly, as Yuki felt another smile form on his face, “ah...I’m sorry for being so sudden...ah...I have something to give you...” 

It wasn’t what Yuki used to think. It wasn’t a matter of ‘how many.’ That wasn’t what mattered. Even if it was just ‘one.’

“Machi...where are you now?” Yuki asked gently, to calm down her nerves. 

“Eh? Ah...one station away from the school,” Machi replied. 

“Wait right there! I’m coming over!” Yuki suggested, “I have something for you as well...” 

Yuki cut the call, grabbed his purchased goods, and began running at top speed. When he got to the station, he began to desperately look for her. 

Even one person being there for Yuki was the greatest thing, because that ‘one’ was not ‘zero.’ He was happy all those times. It gave him such a warm feeling that out of all those other people, it was him that Machi had found. 

Yuki spotted her quietly standing there, waiting while holding a huge bag in her hand. She looked nervous, but then she finally saw him. Yuki smiled softly as he began to approach her. 

Machi had accepted him for being himself, she had accepted all of him. She thought of him and looked for him; it wasn’t an ordinary thing. It was the greatest thing, like a miracle. 

“Well...I’m sorry...I thought maybe it was okay...until tomorrow...but I was thinking...but...” Machi stuttered quietly, “if it wouldn’t be fresh any longer, so...” 

Yuki was confused. Fresh?

“Well...this...in a hurry...” Machi struggled to continue, “Honda-san’s visiting gift...”

“Eh?” Yuki questioned, trying to let her take her time. 

“If I brought it...it would be strange...would you bring it?” Machi asked, finally getting her point across. 

“Ah...well...okay!” Yuki replied in surprise, “you took the trouble to buy her a gift!?” 

“Oh no...well, in a hurry...I didn’t know what to get...” Machi mumbled on, “I bought a bath set...it’s supposed to be good for backaches and shoulder pains...” 

“Is it Machi’s favourite?” Yuki asked, remembering Kakeru’s words from earlier. 

“Eh...eh, eh? How did you know...” Machi asked innocently. 

“Brother and sister,” Yuki replied happily, “thank you. I’ll be sure to give it to her.” 

“Ah...another one...to Kaicho**” Machi added shyly. 

“Me?” Yuki gasped, as she took the item in question out, “...fertiliser?” 

“I incidentally found it...” Machi explained. 

“Incidentally...” Yuki repeated, thinking of his Mogeta plushie. 

“It’s true! I happened to incidentally find it...” Machi justified, “I just happened to walk by a shop where I heard there was really good fertiliser...so just because it was convenient...before...before you said you wanted some, so...and then I thought ‘freshness’...” 

Yuki realised it must have been heavy for her to carry. 

“It’s all right,” Yuki reassured, “it won’t get un-fresh.” 

“Eh?” Machi questioned, as she had a moment of thought. 

“Thank you,” Yuki smiled gratefully, “I’m very...very...happy. Well then...I have a present for you.” 

“Eh...” Machi replied, as Yuki took the Mogeta out, “ah...”

Her eyes and mouth went wide. 

“This...I found it incidentally. It’s real,” Yuki explained, as he observed her reaction. 

“E...Expensive...” Machi commented in shock. 

“No, it was a reasonable price,” Yuki laughed. 

Machi then continued to stare at it, and then held it up to the sun for better view. She was adorable; and Yuki admired every bit of her reaction. 

“Machi has the same face as Mogeta,” Yuki chuckled. 

“Thank...you...” Machi mumbled, while holding the plushie against her chest. Yuki noticed the tears forming in her eyes. 

“Hey...Machi. I...” Yuki began, as Machi turned away, “ah...hold on a second...wait! Wait!” 

He kept trying to face her but she kept turning away in embarrassment. 

“I...wanted to show my thanks to Honda-senpai,” Machi explained shyly, “I know I have no relevance...to anything at all, and I have no way of crossing that bridge, but a person like kaicho exists in this world...I’m so grateful.” 

Yuki felt like his heart was about to burst into a million pieces of happiness. He felt graced that someone like Machi existed in his life, but hearing that she felt the same way. He was blessed, truly blessed. 

“For protecting kaicho. I am thankful. Because kaicho was so frail, you noticed a person like me,” Machi continued, her voice shaking, “I think that’s why you started talking to me. For such a kaicho to exist...I really am grateful...”

Yuki felt like the person he found was just waiting for him. 

“I...found you,” Yuki declared, as his hand held her chin up so that she could face him properly. Machi had a look of shock, before she tearfully smiled at him. Yuki felt tears form in his eyes too. 

“Thank you for finding me,” Machi replied, grabbing his hand, and holding it to her cheek. 

Haru’s words suddenly came into his mind, as he sighed in happiness. 

“The things you have...your weaknesses...your kindness...are all...very special.” 

“I felt like crying in my corner of the world...” Machi giggled. 

“Well...let’s go,” Yuki suggested, the smile on his face not disappearing. He grabbed her hand, and the two of them began to walk together. 

Now...Yuki was just a little bit closer to the centre, as ‘two.’ It was the greatest thing. It was a miracle. 

His phone began to ring. 

“Ah...I’m sorry,” Yuki stopped, struggling with all his things and grabbing his phone out. 

“It’s okay...” Machi replied, letting go of his hand and looking away. 

He saw the Caller-ID: Kakeru. 

“Hello?” Yuki answered, as he heard shifting on the other end, “Kakeru? Is everything alright?” 

Machi looked up at him curiously. 

“Yuki...” Kakeru began with a serious tone, “ah crap...I don’t even know how to begin this...” 

“Explain it in order....” Yuki suggested quietly, as he listened to Kakeru cautiously trying to find the right words. 

“So...I went to go to the hospital, and I found your brother and...the guy named Shigure-san,” Kakeru explained. Normally, Yuki would be annoyed that those two idiots were the people that met him. But the tone of his best friend’s voice stopped him from doing so. 

“And...?” Yuki prompted. 

“And then...Hatori-san arrived, he looked super depressed about something,” Kakeru continued, “he wanted to talk to your brother and Shigure-san; about something important.” 

“Yeah...” Yuki nodded, realising that the situation was exclusive to the Sohmas.

“But I overheard anyway; I didn’t hear everything they discussed, but I heard what your brother blurted out loud,” Kakeru sighed, as Yuki began to panic. Did he somehow find out about the curse? 

“Yuki...Honda-san’s memories...they’re gone,” Kakeru finished, his voice shaking. 

Yuki dropped everything he was holding, “Wh-What!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **ikemen orange = handsome orange guy - basically Kakeru was referring to Kyo.  
> **kaichou = president - meanwhile Machi be referring to Yuki who was the student council president. 
> 
> Anyway, here’s the last mainly canon chapter we will have for a while! When we discussed this, we figured that Yuki and Kyo would develop the same way until they find out about Tohru’s memories. Now a major split from canon will occur. 
> 
> I wonder what will happen next to Yuki and Kyo when they have to face Tohru’s memory loss? And regarding Yuki, I wonder how Kakeru and Machi, his two emotional supports, will help. Finally I wonder how Momiji and Kyo’s relationship will evolve? 
> 
> Now, there’s a food for thought. Hope you enjoyed!


	9. Mutualism

Kakeru always struggled with connecting with people eye to eye; this was especially the case with the people he loved most. He never used the right words when addressing serious situations and he came off as insensitive, rude and uncaring. Thanks to that, he often looked down on himself; he felt loneliness cloud over him as he shouldered the burdens of things he had said in the past. However, after his interactions with Komaki, Tohru and Yuki, he was able to acknowledge and grow from his flaws. 

The brunette saw Yuki as a best friend and mentor. He possessed the sensitivity and weakness to read people’s emotions, along with the kindness to understand what other people were going through. Kakeru valued those traits and tried to emulate them when he took the step to finally apologise to Tohru for his terrible insult towards her. His words had once hurt Yuki’s feelings in the past, and Kakeru chose to grow from that interaction. Yes, the brunette saw that without suffering and struggling, a person like him wouldn’t grow; and he learnt to move past that with his best friend’s help. 

He was truly grateful that Yuki existed in his life, and wanted to do whatever he could to help him in return. But when the situation where Kakeru had to do his best to support Yuki actually arrived, he began to feel anxious. 

What if he said something stupid? What if his words hurt Yuki to the point that it becomes irreversible? What if he addressed the situation wrong? What if he wasn’t even supposed to address the situation? 

Before he had even processed the answers of those questions, he pressed the call button. 

“Hello?” Yuki’s voice entered his ear, “Kakeru? Is everything alright?” 

He had to tell him. He knew how important Tohru was to Yuki. She supported him, she protected him, she was like a mother for him; Yuki treasured her to no end. Yuki deserved to know; he deserved to know the terrible news regarding her. 

“Yuki...” Kakeru began after a few seconds of mental preparation, “ah crap...I don’t even know how to begin this...” 

He was already failing. 

“Explain it in order....” Yuki instructed carefully. Kakeru admired his patience; he now had the time to prepare the right words. 

“So...I went to go to the hospital, and I found your brother and...the guy named Shigure-san,” Kakeru recounted quietly. 

“And...?” Yuki prompted. 

“And then...Hatori-san arrived, he looked super depressed about something,” Kakeru continued, feeling more confident in the fact that Yuki was listening, “he wanted to talk to your brother and Shigure-san; about something important.” 

“Yeah...” Yuki replied. 

“But I overheard anyway; I didn’t hear everything they discussed, but I heard what your brother blurted out loud,” Kakeru sighed, as he felt tension bubbling in his chest. He had to get this out. He had to say it to him. He had to get this out properly. 

“Yuki...Honda-san’s memories...they’re gone,” the brunette finished, unable to control the fear from escaping through his voice. 

There was a brief silence before Yuki spoke up, “Wh-What!?” 

Kakeru closed his eyes. He sat alone in the empty waiting room of the hospital. Ayame, Hatori and Shigure had long left since their interaction from earlier; and in the presence of nobody, he began to feel nervous. Did he end up hurting him badly? Should he have worded it differently? 

“Kakeru,” Yuki spoke again, slightly startling him, “I’m coming over to where you are.” 

“Oh uh...yeah, I’m in the hospital,” Kakeru responded, feeling slightly relieved that he didn’t completely stop functioning at his words. 

“Yeah, got it, I’ll see you there,” Yuki replied before cutting the call. Kakeru put his phone away in his bag and leaned back against the wall. The only sound that came was the ticking noise that came from the nearby clock. 

He began to wonder what was in Yuki’s mind at that current moment...not that he’s ever been good at understanding it.

“Well, it looks like you heard something you weren’t supposed to,” a voice spoke up. Kakeru jerked and looked up to see Shigure smiling at him. 

“Oh, Shigure-san,” Kakeru sighed, as the older man sat next to him, “scared the living crap out of me.” 

“Ah, sorry about that,” Shigure smiled. 

“So, uh, I wasn’t supposed to find out about Honda-san?” Kakeru began with a sigh. He realised that he shouldn’t have meddled with the situation by telling Yuki like that. Once again, he had made a wrong decision; a bad move. 

“Yeah, you weren’t,” Shigure replied, his voice suddenly becoming cold to the point it was ominous, “In fact, no outsider should find out about something like this.” 

Shigure put an interesting amount of emphasis on the word ‘outsider’ to the point that Kakeru began to feel uncomfortable with the entire atmosphere. He felt pressured by his current circumstances; it felt like he wasn’t reading the situation right. Was there something else he was supposed to be noticing? 

“I-I’m sorry about that” Kakeru chuckled, forcing a smile onto his face, “I promise that I won’t tell anyone else.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Shigure replied, “though tell me, did you find out anything else? 

“No! Not really!” Kakeru laughed nervously, “that’s crazy! I’m not the type to just eavesdrop for no reason.” 

“Lying’s bad,” Shigure scolded teasingly, which put Kakeru on edge. 

He began read the situation he was in. This man actually seemed to be encouraging something within him; but the brunette couldn’t put a finger on what he wanted. 

“I swear, it’s nothing!” Kakeru chuckled sarcastically, before he gave a serious look to Shigure, “or was there something that you wanted me to find out that I wasn’t supposed to know?” 

It was a prediction; but this notion seemed to prompt the older man to give him a slightly sinister frown. Kakeru felt his heart beating fast; he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He broke into a cold sweat as fear began travelling through his mind. He felt like he was in a dangerous situation, and he had to choose between ‘flight’ and ‘flight’. 

But Kakeru had never been great at making decisions; a decision he made here could hurt someone he cared about in the future. His response instead was to freeze. He barely processed Shigure’s change in demeanour, as it went from fearsome to lighthearted. 

“Oh who knows!” Shigure laughed, “anyway, you’re good friends with Yuki right? I sure hope he isn’t causing you any trouble.” 

The chilled atmosphere suddenly became lukewarm; Kakeru didn’t enjoy the sudden change of mood. It left him with questions; questions that would probably be remained unanswered. 

“Yeah, yeah I am,” Kakeru replied, deciding to ride along with the current he was in, “and I think I’m the one who causes him the trouble. He’s always fed up with me.” 

“Ahhh,” Shigure sighed before smiling, “I’m sure you’ll continue to be there for him as you usually are right? He’s been in a much livelier mood ever since he’s joined the student council.” 

“Oh yeah, of course,” Kakeru answered, before his phone began to buzz with a notification. He flipped open his phone to see a text from Yuki; indicating that he was here. 

“That’s my cue to leave! Goodbye!” Shigure dismissed, as he stood up leave, “it was nice talking to you today, Kakeru-kun.” 

“Yeah,” Kakeru responded, seeing him off before sighing in relief. He sunk into his chair as tried to process what just happened. 

Okay, so first he overheard a conversation he wasn’t supposed to, but he only gathered that Tohru’s memories were erased. Then he had to tell Yuki about it, and had no idea how he was doing emotionally. Finally, Shigure was acting suspicious. This gave Kakeru one big question: What the hell was going on in the Sohma family? 

He knew his own family situation was pretty screwed up. Being the illegitimate child, he struggled in an inheritance war against his own half sister; and constantly suffered the pressure and abuse of being perfect. Thanks to that entire scenario, he became closed off and cruel; which resulted in him not fully being able to understand emotional situations. But it also resulted in him understanding circumstances that were controlled by cold-hearted people. Thanks to his conversations with Yuki, he knew that his relationship with his family wasn’t the best. But was it more than just that? Was there more to this family than what was being let on to him? 

“Kakeru!” Yuki called out, snapping the brunette out of his thoughts. Kakeru turned to his best friend to see him running with a huge bag in his hand along with his other school stuff. 

“Oh, Yuki!” Kakeru responded, standing up in his spot, “about time!” 

“S-Sorry...” Yuki replied, panting heavily, “you see, I was with Machi...at the station.” 

“I see...” Kakeru nodded, sitting down. 

“More importantly, I want you to elaborate!” Yuki demanded, after he caught his breath, “this isn’t some kind of cruel joke is it!? What happened to Honda-san?! What did you hear them say?!” 

“Sit down...I’ll explain when you calm down...” Kakeru responded, noting that Yuki was in a complete emotional frenzy, and wouldn’t process what he said properly otherwise. 

Yuki sighed, and grudgingly obeyed, “fine.” 

“Well, after I heard your brother scream about her memories being gone, all three of them got louder,” Kakeru explained, feeling more comfortable talking to Yuki than he was with Shigure, “apparently, Hatori wiped it, and she doesn’t remember the ‘curse’ anymore...or whatever. I didn’t really understand.” 

“Okay...” Yuki nodded, before looking away to hide the emotions on his face, “yeah...I understand...” 

Silence filled the room. From Kakeru’s angle, Yuki looked like he had started crying, because he caught a glint of emotion in his eyes before he had looked away. The brunette had seen Yuki on the verge of tears before; it was when he opened up about Tohru to him. But this time hit much harder; it felt like the person who made him cry was Kakeru himself. The guilt began to wash over him like a tidal wave. 

“I’m sorry...” Kakeru quietly mumbled, looking away himself, “I feel like I’m not being a good friend. At times like this, I should be finding words to comfort you...but I’ve never been good at using the right words without hurting people. I don’t know how you’re feeling right now and—“ 

“Shut up,” Yuki interrupted, his voice hoarse, “what you’ve been doing is the best thing you could’ve ever done for me.”

Kakeru’s eyes widened in surprise, as he turned to find Yuki glaring right back at him. There were tears in his eyes, and he was emotionally driven. 

“From the moment I met you, you’ve been nothing but supportive and comforting,” Yuki elaborated, as Kakeru got taken aback, “you always listened to me, you supported me, you cared about me; you have no idea how happy it made me feel when you told me to ‘take care of myself’! You have no idea how happy it makes me feel right now; to have someone’s concern.” 

Kakeru wanted to cry, but he figured that if he didn’t, he’d have something to hold against Yuki later on.

“Heh...maybe you’re the one who has no idea how happy hearing that makes me feel...” Kakeru chuckled quietly. 

There was a slight bit of silence. Feeling unsettled about showing his genuine happiness, Kakeru decided to change the mood. He smacked Yuki on the back hard. 

“Awww! Don’t cry Yun-Yun! You don’t want to smudge all that girly makeup you wear on your face!” Kakeru giggled, “Princess Yun-Yun needs to redo her makeup!” 

“Ow! Shut up will you!” Yuki reacted, as he put his hand on his back in irritation, “why do you always have to dampen the mood like that!? You’re stupid, an idiot!” 

“What? I was just concerned about your makeup!” Kakeru feigned hurt, while stifling his laughter, “honestly Yun-Yun, you’re not gonna find a date if your face all ruined!” 

“Oh, I’m touched by your input!” Yuki replied sarcastically, “it’s not like it’s none of your business!” 

“I’m being a concerned friend here! You told me that it makes you happy!” Kakeru chuckled. 

“Right now, you’re irritating me...” Yuki sighed, before smiling, “can I tell you something?”

“Hmm?” Kakeru prompted. 

“All my life, every time I made a friend, they’ve forgotten about me,” Yuki began to speak sourly, as Kakeru narrowed his eyes, “we have a family secret that we’re keeping from everyone; and when someone outside our family finds out about it, their memories are erased through hypnotism.” 

“I see...” Kakeru nodded; this explained a lot about his encounter with Shigure. 

“Honda-san actually knew about it...but she was allowed to know as long as she kept the secret. She’s been keeping it for two years now,” Yuki continued, “and she accepted us with open arms past our family secret. But now, it’ll be as if we never got close in the first place, it’ll be as if all that didn’t happen. And it hurts...it hurts so much.” 

“Why...why does it have to be that way?” Kakeru questioned, finding flaws in the entire situation, “what did she do to get her memories erased?” 

“I don’t know...but she was in the hospital in the first place because our family head...” Yuki replied, but stopped himself, “I don’t think I should tell you anymore. I don’t think I’m allowed to; but when the time comes, I promise to tell you everything.”

“Understood, I’m always willing to lend an ear,” Kakeru replied, “even if it’s the only thing I could do, I’ll always be here for you.” 

“You know, I don’t even know how I’d get past this without you and Machi,” Yuki concluded, “thank you for being such an important part of my life.” 

“Stop! Now you’re just getting overly mushy!” Kakeru complained, as he stood up, “anyway, I gotta get home, Komaki’s waiting for me. See you tomorrow Yun-Yun.” 

“Oh, yeah, I guess I better get going too,” Yuki stood, “it’s almost time for dinner.” 

This entire conversation birthed a few realisations within Kakeru. However, the biggest one that gathered all of that together was that he was definitely growing into the type of person who could support his best friend through anything. Kakeru decided that he was going to continue being there for Yuki; no matter how dark his family secret was, and even if the person himself rejects the help. 

It’s because Yuki was willing to do the same for him. 

“Hey Yuki,” Kakeru spoke up, as Yuki began to turn away to leave, “thanks....for y’know...being an important part of my life too.” 

There was silence, before Yuki chuckled, “yeah....take care, Kakeru. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Kakeru was more than delighted to know that their feelings were mutual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy ending for once! Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this chapter! Kakeru hardly gets chapters in his perspective in the manga, so digging into his psychology was super interesting! 
> 
> Anyway, next chapter, some major changes will occur, so prepare yourselves! I wonder what they’re going to be!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	10. Darkness

Kyo awoke abruptly. It felt like he had just woken up from a huge nightmare. Taking in his dimly lit surroundings, he realised he was in his bedroom and that it was night time. 

He sat up, and felt his head throbbing in pain. He began to chuckle sourly as he reminded himself of his most recent memory. 

Tohru’s memories were gone. The memories of the time the two of them had spent together only remained within him now. Now, his heart became empty, and the void inside only continued to grow. The thought of it made Kyo feel nauseous all over again. He lied back down.

He really should’ve expected as much. No cursed Sohma ever got what they wanted, especially not the cat. Kyo, for once, tried to fight for what he wanted: to be with Tohru. But now, it’s as if the very right to fight had been taken away from him. His life’s purpose was just...gone. 

But was it for the better? This way, he’d never hurt Tohru ever again. She wouldn’t have to suffer any longer because of him. Kyo figured that maybe it was. 

What would happen to him then? Was he supposed to just wait for confinement so that he didn’t have to interact with her anymore? Was he supposed to just accept the fate he had been preparing for all along? Was the very decision of fighting wrong? 

There was a sudden knock on the door, startling the cat. 

“Kyo, I’m coming in,” the voice of Yuki called as the door creaked open. The sudden light in the room blinded Kyo, before the door closed again. Though the sudden exposure of light made his vision darker than before as it subtracted his night vision. Kyo thought it was a nice metaphor of his life. Tohru was like the sudden light that engulfed him; but now he was back in endless darkness again. 

“What do you want?” Kyo spat, not wanting to interact with anyone at this point. He was grieving; he would rather be left alone. But Yuki pushed through his mental barriers and sat by him. 

“I wanted to talk to you,” Yuki replied confidently, “about what to do next.” 

There’s the question that Kyo himself couldn’t answer. He never considered the future before; he was ready for it to end before it even began. But now the decision felt heavy on him. 

“I heard that you found out about Honda-san...you also collapsed from stress,” Yuki explained, “apparently, Momiji carried you back here; but then he went home.” 

Kyo sighed and turned himself to face away. The pain in his chest kept expanding; the more he heard her name; the more he thought of her, the more he wanted to be with her. The silence that filled the room was unbearable. 

“Yeah, I did...” Kyo replied, trying to contain his overwhelming emotions, “and thinking about it now, I think it’s for the best.” 

Kyo’s night vision returned to him, and his surroundings became more clearer. 

“You do?” Yuki questioned, “you’re actually okay with this?” 

“She went through so much pain because she got involved, right?” Kyo tested, his beginning voice raise, “as much as it helped us, it only caused harm to her. She didn’t get anything in return from us, she only suffered because of us. You can’t deny that!” 

“Kyo...” Yuki began. Kyo sat up and faced him, interrupting the rat’s next sentence.

“Shut up! I’ve had enough...I’ve had enough of fighting...!” Kyo bursted, the anger and helplessness within him gushing out of his voice, “she’s gone...whether we like it or not, she’s gone...and there’s nothing we can do.” 

Yuki’s gaze was cold and seemingly unsympathetic as Kyo continued. 

“Now...now we can’t talk to her like we used to, we can’t see her smile at us again like we used to,” Kyo lamented, as thoughts of Kyoko and Tohru bloomed into his mind, “even if we fight against the clan, it won’t change that we lost the Tohru we knew. Once you lose something precious to you, it can’t be regained ever again. It won’t return ever again.” 

“So then, what are you going to do next?” the rat asked again, his voice serious, “now that you have acknowledged all that, what’re you gonna do?” 

The question kept throwing the cat off. Yuki’s mental strength in this situation was unrivalled, and it hurt Kyo that he couldn’t level with him. 

“I...I don’t know....” Kyo replied hesitantly, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing anymore.” 

Kyo wanted to live. He didn’t want to throw anything away anymore; that’s what he told his dad. But the cat didn’t even know if doing that was the right decision. He just declared that he had enough of fighting; because it was true. He was fed up of fighting when every time he tried; everything collapsed upon him. 

Yuki brought his hand up and comfortingly placed it on his shoulder. Kyo watched sadness and grief coloured the blank canvas that was the rat’s face before. 

“I...don’t know what to do either,” Yuki confessed, “I seriously shouldn’t act like I’m above you, when I don’t know either.” 

Kyo froze.

“I’m an idiot...” Yuki elaborated, “I couldn’t even go in to visit her when I went to the hospital! My mind was a complete mess ever since I found out. I was supposed to stop blaming the people around me for my problems; but the first thought I had when I found out was ‘who am I supposed to blame?’ And ‘what could I have done better?’” 

Kyo was taken aback by how wrong he was about him. He had never seen Yuki so emotionally vulnerable before. He had always kept the rat on a pedestal; one that Kyo could never reach. But seeing his weakness made him realise that Yuki was just as broken as he was. 

No, somewhere in there, he always knew. This was the first time he was willing to see it. 

“I really am an idiot,” Yuki concluded with a sigh, as he let go of the cat’s shoulder. 

The room was lightless and soundless as the rat’s words disappeared into the air. His self-deprecation reminded Kyo of what was constantly going on in his mind all the time. He always tried to find someone to blame, and his mind was a complete mess too. But in Kyo’s eyes, Yuki was still someone who was way better than him. 

“Probably not as much compared to me,” Kyo spoke up, his voice soft. He decided to face Yuki properly for who he was. But for that, he needed the rat to see him for who he was too. 

Yuki gave him a questioning look. 

“I’m the stupid guy who gives up on everything,” Kyo continued, smiling pitifully, “from the beginning I ran away, made terrible decisions and hurt people. I was always only looking at myself, even if it meant turning a blind eye to the people in front of me. I think I especially did that to Tohru; and I hate myself for it. I hate myself so much.” 

Kyo had to blink back tears as he felt exposed. Yuki’s gaze never left him; it seemed that the rat had the same idea as him. 

“But the moment I decide to change for the better, it’s as if the world just decides that it’s not possible; it feels like it’s telling me to continue hating myself more,” the cat expressed, “and...I’m asking myself: is it even worth fighting anymore? Should I just accept my own fate and lock myself away from the world? Is that the only thing that will satisfy every single person in the world now?” 

Yuki’s eyes began to glint in emotion.

“The one person that wanted me to stay has forgotten about me now, my reason to fight is gone....” Kyo mumbled, his voice becoming progressively quieter, “of course I don’t know what to do.” 

“Kyo...I don’t want you to be confined,” Yuki spoke up, as the cat shot him a confused look, “locking yourself back up in the ‘Sohma family cage’ and just accepting that...I don’t want that for you.” 

“Why would you care?” Kyo spat. 

“Because...” Yuki began, as he took a deep breath, “I want to be your friend.” 

Kyo’s frame shook, as he heard the echo of the same words being told to him. 

“I’ve always loved the zodiac cat! I...I wanted to be the year of the cat! Basically...what I’m trying to say is, I want to be friends!” 

“You’re stupid, who’d want to be your friend?” Kyo commented. 

“Do you want to be my friend, Kyo?” Yuki asked innocently, as he held his hand out. He looked nervous, his trembling hand made it obvious. 

“Heh, shut up,” Kyo laughed at the rat’s surprisingly air-headed nature, “sure.” 

He took Yuki’s hand, as a small, awkward smile appeared on the rat’s face. 

“Let’s...let’s break the curse,” Yuki suggested out of the blue, causing Kyo to smack his hand away. That was way too random of a light bulb to appear. 

“W-What!? You’re crazy! There’s no way that’s possible!” Kyo refuted in shock, “how the hell are we gonna manage that!? You saw what Akito did!” 

“I agree, it’s far fetched,” Yuki explained, “but we have to fight against your confinement. We have to fight against Akito...you see, this only happened to Honda-san because us members of the zodiac kept running away. We can’t let something like that happen ever again.” 

“B-But...” Kyo began hesitantly. This was so stupid and impossible. 

“Kyo, do you want to be free?” Yuki interrupted, his eyes determined, “if you do, you’re going to have to fight! I know it’s hurt in the past, but this time if you fall, I’ll help you up. We’ll be in this together.” 

“Are you serious...?” Kyo questioned, although he was beginning to see his point of view. The cat wanted to live; he wanted to live past his fate. He already declared that he wasn’t going to throw anything away anymore. Even if Tohru wouldn’t remember it, Kyo had to continue fighting for her. This was what she would’ve wanted after all.

“Yes, I’m serious,” Yuki challenged, “do you want to help? Because even if you don’t...I’m going and fighting myself; I want to be free too. Honda-san gave me courage, and I’m going to use it. I’ve already told her that I’m going to continue fighting, and that won’t change.” 

“You’re being reckless,” Kyo sighed, before smiling awkwardly, “though...I guess fighting with you...wouldn’t be too bad. Tohru...she gave me the acceptance I needed; and I relied on her a lot. About time I relied on myself and became a man.” 

“Okay! It’s settled then!” Yuki declared, as he stood up, “anyway, goodnight Kyo. It’s good to be working with you.”

“What are you, a business man? Chill, we’re friends, remember?” Kyo commented, as the rat’s face turned pink. 

“Shut up, you stupid cat...!” Yuki reacted, awkwardly turning away towards the door, “bye.”

The door opened again, and once again the light blinded Kyo’s eyes. But when the door closed again, moonlight shone brightly into his room. The cat paid attention to his balcony and he saw dark clouds moving past the full moon. 

Once again, Kyo saw this as a good metaphor; because this time, his future was looking bright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the big changes! Now Yuki and Kyo are friends and gonna be fighting against the curse together! I wonder how this will turn out!!
> 
> I hope I did that interaction right :D. This chapter was gonna have another scene, but this one actually got long, so it’ll be an extension to next chapter! (I hope you guys are prepared for the longer chapter next time). 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed Kyo’s perspective! Bye bye!


	11. Change

“Kyo’s moving schools!” Shigure announced nonchalantly as the three males sat down for breakfast. 

“Wh-“ Kyo began, almost spitting out his food.

“What!?” Yuki finished, dropping his chopsticks. 

The morning itself was a calm and sunny one; with the smell of rice filling the air. It had reminded Yuki of his mother-figure, as ordinarily she would be smiling and greeting them for day. 

Kyo had grudgingly decided to cook them breakfast; which happened to be plum rice balls coupled with sardines and soup. Yuki wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of sardines, but he did realise that it was his new friend’s favourite. 

Now, back to the topic at hand. 

“Why!?” Kyo asked in complete shock. 

“Shigure, this is too sudden,” Yuki spoke up calmly, “what happened?” 

“So, as you two are, oh so surely, aware; our dear Tohru’s had her memories wiped,” Shigure explained in an idiotic manner, “and mostly everyone knows that the person she cared about the most was indeed Kyo over here.” 

Yuki wanted to punch his older cousin in the face. He turned over to Kyo, who quietly continued to eat; disconnecting himself from the situation that highly involved him. A pang of sympathy hit the rat as he observed the sadness that was reflected through his eyes. 

“And because Kyo is so important to her, her memories may spike up again...” Shigure sighed, “apparently that’s a problem towards Akito, so...hence the decision!” 

“Seriously...?” Yuki questioned, although he understood the situation quite well. As Kyo had said the night before, this was probably for the better; Tohru doesn’t need to get involved any longer. Instead they were going to step up and use what she had given to them to fight for their freedom. 

“Yeah, I understand...” Kyo stood with his empty plate, his reaction indicating to Yuki that he was thinking the same, “when’s my last day?” 

“Today,” Shigure replied bluntly. 

“Wh-“ Kyo began, almost dropping his plate on the floor. 

“What!?” Yuki finished, stopping himself from slamming his fist on the table. 

“Haha! You guys are fun!” Shigure giggled; as he playfully stood and skipped to put the dishes in the wash. 

“I want to hang him from the roof,” Kyo muttered. 

“Me too....” Yuki agreed, as the two of them emitted an aura of anger. 

“Oh well you two, have fun at school!” Shigure declared, before pausing at the door of his room, “oh by the way, can you guys do me a favour and inform people like Saki-chan, Arisa-chan and her grandfather? Thanks, bye bye!” 

There he was; pushing unwanted errands onto the two of them because he was lazy. Yuki never understood his older cousin; in a way he was very wise and calculating, but he was also an idiot. As Mayuko had described, he was like a ripple in the water; but as Yuki had described to Tohru, it felt like he was the jelly fish that was floating on top. 

“Are you done yet?” Kyo interrupted his thoughts, standing over him with his bag, “we’re going to be late.” 

Yuki quickly finished his food and the two of them decided to leave for school. 

The entire walk there, Yuki carefully observed the cat. Ordinarily when the two of them were together, he was on edge unless Tohru was in their presence. But now he saw a side of him that was more expressive and calm. 

Yuki wondered what was going through his mind. This last week had been hell and more for him; the rat didn’t even know how he’d react in his position. Kyo had suffered from so many burdens; and it felt like whenever he tried to clear one, more piled onto him. It was like a jenga puzzle: where pulling out one block toppled the rest of the pile. 

Now, the cat was forced to leave behind the entire life he had created. Yuki couldn’t even fathom how that felt. All he felt was sympathy and the urge to do something about it. 

“Kyo,” Yuki spoke up as the other male turned towards him, “I’ll tell—“

“I’ll tel Uotani and Hanajima,” Kyo interrupted, “after what they said to me yesterday, I have to tell them.” 

“Alright, then I’ll tell her grandfather...” Yuki nodded, “what about her part time work?” 

“Momiji’s probably got it covered,” Kyo spoke monotonously. 

When they got to the front of the school, Kyo halted. Yuki entered the school and turned around to see the cat longingly gaze at the roof. It occurred to him that this would be the last time his friend entered this place as a student. 

They went to class soon after, and they got ambushed by Uotani and Hanajima. Specifically Kyo got ambushed; Yuki stepped away as soon as it arrived. 

The atmosphere became eerie, as a stare down between Tohru’s two friends and Kyo occurred. Somewhere in there, Haru arrived and stood next to Yuki. 

“What’s going on?” Haru asked, “is this related to Honda-san again?” 

“Kyo’s about to...wait have you heard about her memories?” Yuki whispered. 

“Yeah, Hiro and Kisa told the rest of us,” Haru replied with a sigh, “it’s a shame...” 

Yuki smiled sadly.

“I want you guys to hear me out, and hear me out carefully,” Kyo spoke seriously, his voice unwavering. 

The two girls paused their death glares, and then decided to wait calmly. 

“It’s about...it’s about something that happened to Tohru,” Kyo stammered. So much for his wave of confidence from the earlier sentence. He probably wasn’t expecting their reaction. 

“You better not spout out that you wanna go see her or—“ Uotani started before Hanajima brought her hand up to stop her. She nodded to Kyo for continuation. 

“No, I’m not seeing her anymore; today’s my last day here, it’s been decided by the head family,” Kyo announced, as the two of them flared up. 

“What do you mean!? You’re running away!? I thought you said you were gonna pull yourself together!” Uotani yelled, holding her fist out at him, “what happened to that!? What happened to become a man!?” 

Hanajima gazed on quietly. 

“Uotani-sa—“ Yuki began, before being thoroughly interrupted. 

“Tohru’s lost her memories,” Kyo broke to them, as the two of them paused. The disbelief sprouted onto their face as they realised the truth of the situation. 

“Kyo Sohma, tell me, why did this occur?” Hanajima asked, hiding her agitation. 

“I don’t know, suddenly our head family didn’t want her around us...” Kyo attempted to justify. 

“So they’re throwing her away like a used item!?” Uotani questioned, tears filling her eyes, “you’ve got to be kidding me! Now you’re moving schools too!? Why does this family have to pin you guys down like that!? Why!?” 

“Arisa...” Hanajima began. 

“This is so stupid! I’ve had enough stress over this week!” Uotani complained before angrily pacing away from them. 

“Was that...the right way to break it to them...?” Kyo questioned quietly. 

“It’s fine, you see, yesterday when we went to the hospital after school, we heard about Kureno too,” Hanajima explained, “visitors weren’t allowed to see Tohru until later in the afternoon, and because Arisa had part time work by then and I had some business at home to take care of; we decided to go visit today.” 

“I see, so she’s probably super worried,” Kyo engaged, looking away. 

“So, how exactly did they erase her memories, and how much has she forgotten?” Hanajima asked. She was probably asking so that she could act accordingly. 

“Well, she’s forgotten the time she’s spent living with us and she’ll be living with her grandfather again once she gets out of hospital,” Yuki explained, “the memory erasing itself is a bit like hypnotism; it’s slightly complicated for me to explain.” 

“Understood,” Hanajima replied, “what is she allowed to know? What’s the story that’s going to be made up.”

“Just tell her that she fell down some stairs with a kitchen knife and hit her head hard,” Kyo suggested, flexing his knowledge on how much he knew her, “it’s believable even for her since she’s clumsy.”

“Alright, I’ll go after Arisa and explain the same to her,” Hanajima decided as she turned around and began to walk away. 

“Hey!” Kyo called out as she stopped in her tracks, “Uh...thanks...for everything...”

“I’m not doing this entirely for you,” Hanajima coldly replied, “it’s mostly for Tohru...although there’s a part of me that holds sympathy for you, I will give you that much.” 

With that she walked away. The cat looked towards Yuki and Haru, who still remained standing to the side. 

“I’m going inside,” Kyo sighed, before he turned to entered the classroom.

Yuki exchanged a look of worry with Haru. He felt saw the amount of mental strength Kyo used to face everything. This was so stupid; the rat began to feel urgency to change something before it was too late. 

“Momiji’s been depressed,” Haru informed, “yesterday when everyone gathered and heard the news; Momiji didn’t say a word...he didn’t even come to school today. I’m surprised Kyo did. Must be painful...to lose someone you love like that.” 

“Yeah...” Yuki agreed solemnly. 

The day progressed with a little to no normalcy. Mayuko was surprised when she heard the news of Kyo’s sudden departure. His two stupid friends; Hiroshi and Yusuke panicked comically and begged the cat not to go. They were going to throw a class farewell party for him after school. Yuki decided not to attend; he had student council. Besides, it’s not like Kyo was leaving their home too. He didn’t need to say goodbye. 

Uotani had returned to class and apologised to Kyo. She declared to him that her and Hanajima would take care of Tohru. The lonely look in Kyo’s eyes pained the rat, as the realisation settled in that he wouldn’t get to be with the one he wants to be with the most. 

Once school ended, Kakeru was already ready to collect him. 

“Hey Yun-Yun! Let’s go, we have student council!” Kakeru called from the door. 

“Yeah!” Yuki called back. 

“Hey Nabe! You should totally join us later for our farewell party for Kyon-Kyon!” Hiroshi spoke up. 

“Nah,” Kakeru replied with a grin, “I have student council, but tell Kyo I said goodbye!” 

“I’m right here...” Kyo muttered as Yuki chuckled. 

“Low presence,” The rat commented teasingly, “this is why you’re stupid.” 

“Shut up!” Kyo called after him as the two of them left the classroom. 

Walking down the hallway, there was an awkward silence. After the two of them opened up to each other the day before, Yuki really didn’t feel like insulting him. 

“Yun-Yun! Today your makeup’s looking just fine! I think you should be able to score a date today!” Kakeru giggled idiotically. Yuki wanted to drown his earlier thought. His best friend deserved every insult in the world and more. 

“Shut up,” Yuki commented, “I’m not looking for a date today.” 

“Are you sure?” Kakeru pushed on, “I mean, there’s no way you’d go out of your way with your feminine looks if you didn’t want to score one.” 

“You need to get your brain checked,” Yuki sighed, as Machi suddenly appeared before him. It occurred to him that they were about to enter the room at the same time. 

“Machi, hello...” Yuki greeted as she nodded. They both entered the room. The rat found it odd that on the topic of dates Machi had to appear. The very thought got him flustered. 

“Oh, Yun-Yun! Face turning pink I see,” Kakeru chuckled, “must be thinking about—“

“Shut up!” Yuki reacted, smacking the idiot on the head. 

The student council went the same as always. Kakeru and Kimi gave him a headache, he mentally sympathised with Nao, and Machi remained quiet. Personally, Yuki was glad that this bit of normalcy remained. With things changing every hour, he wanted to be sure that there was at least one place where he had control. 

“Hey Yuki,” Kakeru spoke up, after the council was dismissed for the day, “how come Kyo’s leaving?” 

“Because Honda-san’s memories are gone, and he’s the person most likely to bring it back if he interacts with her,” Yuki replied, as he grabbed his bag. The two of them began to walk out, and the rat happily waved at Machi when he did. Once again, she nodded. 

“I don’t get it,” Kakeru sighed, as they walked down the empty hallways towards a flight of stairs, “why’s that such a bad thing? She’s known for two years right? Why do you guys have to go so far to keep your secret? I think it’s a bit too sudden.” 

“Well, I don’t know about our family head myself,” Yuki explained, “but, what I do know is that Kyo and I don’t want Honda-san involved anymore.” 

“Why?” Kakeru questioned. 

“She’ll only get hurt,” Yuki replied bitterly.

The two of them exited the school, and approached the school gates. Once they got there, Kakeru stopped. Yuki stopped with him to hear what he had to say. 

“I don’t know if I have any right to say any of this to you,” Kakeru advised, “but I think Honda-san was at her happiest when she was with you guys. Just my opinion on what I’ve observed. See ya.” 

With that, Kakeru turned and walked away. 

“Bye...” Yuki replied slowly, as he thought about what his best friend just told him. 

Tohru was at her happiest when she was with them...he wondered if that was even true. When the rat thought about it, he never really knew how she felt. He knew that Tohru was at her happiest around Kyo; but he also always knew that she always smiled to hide her problems. After whatever happened during their first New Years together, he knew that because she smiled a lot, it wouldn’t be easy to see through her problems.

Yuki knew that not involving Tohru was the correct decision; no matter how painful it was. 

For now, his job was to inform her grandfather. 

“Hello,” Yuki greeted, as Tohru’s grandfather smiled at him peacefully. 

“Hello there!” The grandfather greeted, “is this about Tohru’s condition?” 

“Yes, or rather her memories...” Yuki stated. 

“I’m aware,” the grandfather replied as the rat perked surprisedly, “Kyoko-san’s friends informed me just earlier.” 

Yuki laughed nervously. Of course he had meant Tohru. Also, Hanajima and Uotani were here just earlier. It took a while for him to process that. 

“Yes, so since she’ll be moving out, is it alright if we arrange a day for her belongings to be moved?” Yuki asked, as the two of them began discussing their plans. 

The more the conversation continued, the more Yuki felt ashamed that it had to turn out this way. Of course Tohru losing her memories meant that she had to move back into this terrible household. Her family had never treated her with the respect she deserved; and Yuki certainly wished that she didn’t have to return here of all places. But it was certainly going to turn out better than if she stayed with the Sohmas. Besides, they were in their third year; it’s not like she was going to stay here for long. Tohru’s plan was always to move out after high school anyway.

“I think Honda-san was at her happiest when she was with you guys.”

Yuki shook his head, trying to erase Kakeru’s idiotic voice from his mind. 

“Is everything alright?” Tohru’s grandfather asked in concern. 

“Yep, I’ll be taking my leave now, thank you for your help,” Yuki replied, bowing in politeness before stepping out of the house. While walking home, the rat got swallowed in thought. 

While living with the Sohma family, Tohru took on so many burdens with a smile on her face; even though it only resulted in pain for her. The cursed members of the zodiac had to fight for themselves now; they shouldn’t rely on Tohru forever. She shouldn’t get involved any longer. Kakeru didn’t know a thing about all that. 

When he returned home, Tohru didn’t greet him. He was supposed to be getting used to it. But it didn’t change how painful it was to not be blessed with her warm smile. Dinner was cooked by Kyo; but he began to miss Tohru’s cooking. It was like everyone said; a mother’s homemade cooking was always the best. That night, Kyo and Shigure greeted him goodnight; however, they weren’t the people he wanted to hear it from the most. It was Tohru. 

The more Yuki thought about it, the more his head began to ache. Lying in bed, he realised that the lack of Tohru’s presence caused his heart to feel so empty; he felt so lost and confused. He wanted Tohru to be more involved with him and he wanted her to still stay friends with him; he wanted her to smile for him. But he wasn’t supposed to wish for that anymore. He wasn’t supposed to be selfish and cause her suffering anymore. He wasn’t supposed to be a rely on her anymore.

Even so, the words spoken by the same girl he met two years ago made all his thoughts of logic freeze:

“If my memories get erased, please make friends with me again, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine theories will spark with this chapter. Yuki’s mind is in a subconscious dilemma; even though he thinks he knows what he’s doing. 
> 
> One thing I want you guys to think about is Kakeru’s and Shigure’s actions from this chapter; especially based off of what you know from the chapter they interacted. 
> 
> Anyway, that’s all from me! Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Edit: IF YOU GUYS ALREADY DON'T KNOW, SEASON 3'S TRAILER IS OUT ON TWITTER!! HAVE FUNNNNN!!! HYPEEEE!!


	12. Stress

Uotani was fed up. The more she thought about the current situation; the more she felt that way. 

Firstly, she and Hanajima hear from Yuki that Tohru’s been put into hospital; and that it happened after Kyo rejected her in one of the most harshest ways possible. At that point, the answer was simple: to beat the hell out of Kyo and make him set things right with Tohru. 

Then, when they go to visit the girl after school, it turns out they weren’t allowed to until later. Instead, she finds out that Kureno is also in the hospital with a stab wound; the same Kureno that she fell in love with at first sight. Stress got over her head. Going to part time work later that day was a hell to remember. She broke down in the locker room and then had to go home early. 

The next day, Uotani decided to tease Kyo by not letting her go see Tohru; only to find out that she has amnesia because the Sohma family didn’t want her hanging around them anymore. To further the knife into the wound, Kyo was leaving. 

The whole thing just gave Uotani a wave of helplessness; it seemed that everybody she cared about was suffering and she couldn’t do anything to help. Even so, she decided to grit her teeth and smile. To stay strong; that’s one thing that spending time around Tohru allowed her to do. She decided to smile and wave Kyo goodbye, while vowing to him that Tohru will be safe. Kyo gave her a bittersweet smile in return. 

That day, their class decided to throw a goodbye party to Kyo. They all went to a nearby karaoke restaurant and booked an entire room. 

“Cheers for the last day of Kyon-Kyon Sohma!” Yusuke yelled at the top of his lungs. 

“Cheers!” Everyone cheered, as their glasses of soft drinks collided together. 

“What is ‘Kyon-Kyon Sohma’?” Kyo commented with an annoyed look on his face, “that’s the most dumbest thing I’ve heard in my life.” 

“Aww, don’t be mad Kyon-Kyon!” Hiroshi reassured, slinging his arm around him, “at least you’re better at getting the girls than we ever will be, right guys?” 

“Don’t call me Kyon-Kyon!” Kyo retaliated, “and what does that have to do with anything!? You guys are weird!” 

The entire class started laughing. Observing Kyo in the crowd, Uotani began to feel a pang of loneliness. She knew how hard Kyo had been trying to improve himself for Tohru’s sake; she also felt like she understood how much he loved her, as well as how painful it was for him to not be by her side. She had felt the same way about Kureno. 

“Are you alright, Arisa?” Hanajima asked, “do you need to step outside?” 

“Nah, I’m good...” Uotani smiled reassuringly, feeling her heart ache, “just a little preoccupied in thought.” 

“And now we have a speech from the star of the party!” Hiroshi and Yusuke announced. 

“For a while, you guys have been getting on my nerves,” Kyo muttered, clenching his fist tightly.

“But we want to hear it!” His two friends began to whine. 

Uotani stepped up. 

“I wanna hear it too!” Uotani chuckled, deciding to not dampen the mood with her moping, “orange top’s cliche little goodbye speech is one to remember!” 

“Oi,” Kyo reacted. 

“Kyo Sohma, I’d advice against resisting...” Hanajima ominously insisted, “or else I’ll have to use my emotional charge to confess to—“ 

“Alright, alright! Fine! Fine, but don’t you dare go up to Shishou!” Kyo submitted, resulting in morbid giggling from her. 

Everyone around them began to laugh fondly. In that moment, Uotani wished that Tohru was with them and Kyo didn’t have to leave; so that they could share more good memories together. Unfortunately, that couldn’t happen. 

Kyo’s friends made him grab the microphone and stand up. As they all had their food and drinks, he spoke up. 

“So, I’m actually terrible at doing things like expressing myself,” Kyo said monotonously to the point it was comical, “but thank you for being a place of growth, love and friendship—“ 

“Put more emotion into it!” Uotani called out. 

“Oh my god!” Kyo yelled angrily, “let me speak!” 

“He’s throwing a hissy fit,” Hanajima commented as everyone laughed again. 

“Alright, so more emotional huh?” Kyo muttered to himself before clearing his throat, “you guys sucked!” 

Cue laughter and teasing. Uotani began to let it loose and enjoy herself after that. She decided to forget about her stress and focus on the present. The party continued and ended on a good note. 

As everyone began to pack up and leave, Kyo approached her. 

“Uhh, Uotani....” Kyo began pensively. 

“If you’re here to apologise, leave it—“ Uotani began, feeling rather annoyed that she had to be reminded of her problems again. 

“No...it’s not that,” Kyo clarified, scratching his head, “uhh, what I actually wanted to say was thanks for everything...” 

Uotani took a moment to process that. Kyo said something nice to her...that’s not something that happened everyday. 

“Wh-What!?” Uotani exclaimed, dropping all her things, “are you kidding me right now!? You’re thanking me!?” 

“Y-Yeah...” Kyo replied, and it became obvious that he was trying to keep his cool, “I mean, you helped a lot with giving me advice with Tohru...and you were definitely one of the people who made going to school more bearable I guess.” 

“Is that so...” Uotani questioned, trying not to show that she was getting emotional, “no problem then.” 

“See ya round then,” Kyo dismissed, as he took his bag and began to walk out. 

“Bye,” Uotani replied, feeling emptiness return to her heart again. She realised this really was going down the way it was. It pained her to no end. It was like thorns were piercing her heart; and the more problems arose, the more the vine grew and stabbed into her more. 

“So he came up to you too,” Hanajima commented, appearing suddenly; although Uotani was used to it, “how do you feel...?” 

“Everything just sucks,” Uotani sighed, mentally slapping her self for almost quoting Kyo, “it’s all happening so quickly and we can’t seem to get any kind of control of it.” 

“Yes, I feel the same way....” Hanajima agreed as the two of them grabbed their bags and walked out. 

The afternoon was at its peak when they arrived outside, the sunset being about to begin. Before Uotani could bid Hanajima goodbye, she was interrupted. 

“Let’s go tell Tohru’s grandfather,” Hanajima suggested. 

“Sure,” Uotani replied calmly, not having the energy to refute her. 

Telling Tohru’s grandfather was a truly painful experience. He was shaken to say the least; but the fact that he kept calm and smiled right after stung a lot. It reminded Uotani of what Tohru would do. 

It also made her wonder: when she got up, what would she say to them? What would she think? Would she smile it off like she usually does? Would she steel her resolve and keep going as she usually did? 

Uotani abhorred the fact that she’d have to see Tohru do that again. 

With those thoughts in mind, she and Hanajima made their way to the hospital; Hanajima had suggested that visiting Tohru and Kureno was probably a good idea to calm her down. Uotani didn’t understand; she was being as calm as she could. But the fact that tears kept unintentionally forming in her eyes said the contrary. 

When they got there; the recipient said that Tohru was in a minor coma due to unforeseen circumstances, and so they couldn’t visit her. Therefore, Uotani decided to go see Kureno instead. 

Hanajima decided to wait outside as she entered. 

When she entered, she saw Kureno lying on the bed; looking slightly dazed. He looked towards her and a slightly shocked look appeared on his face. Uotani remained silent as she moved towards the window. 

“...I thought...you wouldn’t come,” Kureno awkwardly began, as he sat up and moved towards the window too; using his crutches. 

“Why...?” Uotani asked quietly, a certain feeling bubbling up in her voice. 

“I don’t have the right to see you,” Kureno justified, before sighing, “though there’s Akito. I need to do something.” 

“What?” Uotani asked, turning towards him. 

“I need to go,” Kureno replied, “It’s because of me. It’s because I stayed with her that you’re in so much pain right now; it’s why Tohru is in the hospital. Akito was a tortured soul, and she took it out on her....if I stay with her, it’ll only continue.” 

Uotani silently took it all in. This person called Akito was the person who hurt Tohru and the person who hurt Kureno; chaining him down. Even so she was a tortured soul; like Uotani and Hanajima once were when Tohru saved them. She sighed. 

“You can go wherever you want, whenever you want,” Uotani declared, as she stepped in front of him, “I’ll go too. Do you understand why that is?” 

She leaned back on the bed, feeling giddy and embarrassed at her sudden words of confession. Feeling flustered, she decided to smooth it out so that she doesn’t have to admit her feelings. 

“I can’t tell you,” Uotani finished, as Kureno smiled sweetly at her. In return, she emotionally smiled back. 

As they both gazed into each other’s eyes, there was a knock on the door. The two of them looked towards it, as Hanajima opened it. 

“The nurse just came up to me and told me this,” Hanajima informed, “but apparently, Tohru’s awake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I thought doing a chapter on Uotani would be interesting (don’t want to leave Kureno on a loose end after all); it fills a gap and also we get some good insight into Kyo’s feelings as he leaves with a heavy heart - from an outside perspective. 
> 
> Another thing - how will Tohru be when she wakes up? And what will happen now that she has no control over her situation anymore? We’ll have to see. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Just over a month until season 3 drops, so much excitement!


	13. Fragments

Tohru awoke with tears sprinkling out of her eyes. She found herself in a hospital room, but she was unable to comprehend how she got there. Attempting to sit up, Tohru felt a large sting of pain erupt from her stomach as she collapsed onto her bed again with a small squeak. The sudden movement must have alerted the nurse who was entering the room; as she rushed right back outside; probably to inform someone that she was awake. 

Tohru held her hand to her head, as it began to throb violently. She tried her best to remember; how did she even end up here? What even happened for her? Why did her stomach and head hurt so much?

She remembered living in a tent situated in the middle of the forest after her grandfather’s home went under renovations. She also remembered finding a house; it was the house of one of her classmates: Yuki Sohma and his older cousin, Shigure Sohma. She then saw herself walking to school with him, although being too nervous to interact. There was also the Yuki Sohma fan club who assaulted her, and a cooking class where she, Uotani and Hanajima talked. She recalled walking home with Yuki and talking about the cat in the zodiac folk tale. His eyes were piercing when she asked him if he had hated cats; she remembered that clearly. She then went to work that day. But what happened after that? 

“You look under the weather. It’s still so hot, too. You should be careful of your health.” 

Yuki’s elegant words seeped into her mind, as she felt her face heat up in embarrassment. She must have collapsed at work in a terrible way and worried everybody there! Not to mention, they probably rung her grandfather too. This was terrible, truly terrible. Maybe it would’ve been better if she followed Yuki’s advice...or maybe she should’ve tried to find an alternative to collapsing. 

“Tohru!” A familiar voice called out as Tohru turned her head towards the door. It was Uotani and Hanajima; her two best friends. She cursed herself as she realised she probably worried them too. She felt truly ashamed of herself; so in an attempt to reassure them, she smiled. 

“Uo-chan, Hana-chan! Hello!” Tohru greeted as cheerfully as she could. The two of them dropped all of their belongings and embraced her lovingly. It made her feel secure and comfortable; like she was being hugged by her mother. But she also felt more shameful, as she felt their worry and relief transferred to her. 

“Thank god, you’re okay!” Uotani sighed emotionally. 

“Yeah,” Hanajima agreed. 

Tohru felt herself tear up as the thought of being cared for made her feel super lucky. She closed her eyes tightly, and curled her arms around them as tightly as possible. 

“I’m sorry, I must have caused so much worry,” Tohru sniffed, “I’m truly sorry!” 

“No need to apologise,” Hanajima smiled, stroking her shoulder maternally. 

“Yep, it’s more like, thanks for being okay!” Uotani chuckled, patting her head. 

Tohru smiled warmly, but inside her mind was icy cold. 

After that, a female doctor arrived to perform a check up on her; so her two friends had to leave the room. As she did so, Tohru felt her head throbbing in pain once more. She thought to herself that her fever must have been terrible. 

“Alright! All done!” The doctor declared as Tohru sighed in relief, “your stomach wound is healing just fine, and it should take around three weeks to fully recover.” 

She had a moment of silence to let the timeframe sink in. 

“Three weeks?!” Tohru exclaimed in horror, “but what about school? And-and the promise to my mother, I can’t afford to—!” 

“We can ask your school to send your work here, it’s alright,” the doctor reassured, “but, then there’s another problem...”

“Y-Yes...?” Tohru asked nervously. 

“You’ve been diagnosed with hypnotic amnesia,” the doctor admitted as Tohru’s eyes went wide, “reports suggest that you’ve forgotten the last two years of your life.” 

“Eh?” Tohru quietly whispered, as she began to feel dizzy with confusion. Hypnotic amnesia? Does that mean she’s forgotten some of her memories? But why? And two years of it? Does this mean she’s 17 now; in her third year of high school? 

“I’m sorry to have to break this to you, but in your current state, memory retrieval is impossible,” the doctor explained, “but you will need to go to some therapy after your three weeks in hospital. It will eat into your summer break but I’m afraid that’s just how it is.” 

“Ah...I see...” Tohru struggled to smile, “I-I’m going to have to try hard huh?” 

“I’m sure you’ll be able to adjust to it fine, I know this is probably sudden to you, but your family members and friends are all going to be willing to help you,” the doctor said as she stood up with her clipboard. 

“Yeah!” Tohru nodded determinedly, but inside her mind was only self-loathing. She’s forgotten all the memories she’s spent with everyone, she’s going to cause so many more problems when she goes to therapy. Not to mention, she said that memory retrieval was impossible. 

“Well, I’ll check on you later, for now, get some rest okay?” The doctor suggested before leaving the room. 

Tohru felt truly pathetic for being this way. She began to hate herself a lot more than she initially had. Dark feelings began to expand within her as she thought of how much of a failure she truly was. It made her feel nauseous. 

Her mother was probably disappointed in her from where she was watching.

But where was her mother? 

In alarm, she sat up through the pain, and frantically searched for her mother’s photo. They were always supposed to be together. They were meant to be inseparable, just as they had always been! But then where was she? 

“Tohru?” Uotani called as her two friends entered the room. 

“Mother! Uo-chan, Hana-chan, where did my mother go?!” Tohru asked, her voice shaking, “she’s missing! I can’t find her!” 

A look of realisation sparked on her best friends’ faces, as tears began to uncontrollably fall out of Tohru’s eyes. She was terrified; her greatest fear was being realised; her mother was going to be gone forever. Was it because she was such a disappointment? 

“Tohru, lie down first and we’ll explain,” Hanajima quietly replied, as she gently took the girl’s shoulders and laid her down. 

“So—“ Uotani began.

“I found out that I have amnesia,” Tohru quietly mumbled as the two of them looked at her in slight surprise, “I’ve forgotten everything from the last two years...” 

“We know,” Uotani replied, “it’s okay, we know. You don’t have to cry.” 

“B-But...” Tohru sniffed as she felt herself trembling, “I must be causing so much trouble for everyone! I’m going to be a burden to everyone who knows me! I’m so sorry, I must be holding you two down as well!” 

“It’s okay, no matter what happens, you’re still going to be our sweet Tohru,” Hanajima reassured, “and we’re always going to be here to help you through this.”

“Yeah! We promised when Kyoko died that we’d have your back no matter what,” Uotani reminded, “and even two years into the future, that won’t change.” 

Tohru felt her heart being ripped into pieces as the thought of her mother began to plague her conscience. Following that came the very notion that she forgot two years that she spent without her mother. 

“I-I’m so lucky...to have friends like you two...” Tohru cried, letting her tears flow freely and pushing those earlier thoughts down to an empty corner of her heart, “I’m the luckiest girl in the world!” 

Tohru didn’t know when, but she fell asleep after that. She fell into a deep sleep filled with tiredness and comfort. Unconsciously, she found herself enter a trance; as she found herself within a dream she was having. 

The transition into the new state of mind was a sudden one; as Tohru found herself in a new location, a new room. 

The ceiling light that failed to light this room gave her a familiar, yet unfamiliar feeling. The darkness of this new location that was only lit by her night vision injected fear into her soul. She saw an eerie looking photo frame standing on a shelf in the distance; surrounded with white tulips that were highlighted in the black background. 

She then saw a knee high desk, with textbooks, notebooks, pens, pencils, erasers and a pink pencil case in disarray. 

A girl slept soundly next to that desk; covered up in her futon and breathing steadily. Tohru began to feel disconnected from this world. It wasn’t home; it wasn’t where she belonged. 

The door of the room carefully opened, as the sound of soft footsteps filled her ears. Tohru saw a woman enter the room and crouch down towards the sleeping girl. 

“I’m going now, Tohru,” the woman whispered as a a pit of confusion and despair began to form in her mind. She began to realise where she was. 

This was the apartment that she and her mother lived in; her home. The girl that was sleeping in front of her was Tohru herself; and the woman was her own mother. It felt like she was watching a movie; not realising that she was an actor in there herself. 

But why did this place not feel like home? She spent years and years living in this house with the person she loved the most. So why? 

As her mother stood from her crouched position, it struck to her what was happening. She realised what day it was: the day of her mother’s accident. The one day Tohru failed to wake up to say goodbye. 

She wanted to scream; cry out; call to her mother and tell her not to go. If she went, she’d never see her again. She’d leave her forever. She’d leave her all alone. 

But as her mother opened the door of her room and walked out, Tohru began to realise that no matter how much she begged, her mother wouldn’t hear her. 

Even so, as she watched her mother’s back exit the apartment to disappear into the piercing white light that was the outside world, she found herself calling out:

“Come back!” 

Then the room became pitch black; a complete contrary to what she saw before. It was nothing but darkness. It was comparable to what Tohru’s world had become after this event. Her mind was just an eternal void. 

Suddenly the sound of a ticking stopwatch entered her ear and Tohru was being surrounded by blurry colours. She found herself running as fast as she could, trying to frantically search for something. But then a question entered her mind:

What was she searching for?

Seconds; minutes; hours went by and the clock never stopped moving. The sun rose and set at a rapid rate; as if it was fast forwarded in a montage of a film. Calendar days were being crossed off; before eventually pages that indicated months began to get ripped out. Seasons came and went, but Tohru felt like she was being forced into an eternal winter.

The ticking didn’t stop though. It was as if Tohru was watching the concept of time itself evolve around her. But why? Why was it bothering her so much? 

No matter where she looked, she wasn’t getting her answer. However, after an unspecified duration, everything around her froze and the ticking was brought to a halt. The blurry colours began clear to Tohru; as she watched the back of a male individual with distinct orange hair walk away from her in the form of still images. It all played out in front of her like a short film. Instinctively she reached out, extending her arm as far as she could; but he vanished. 

Instead of disappearing into the bright light like her mother though, he disappeared into darkness. That’s when she suddenly became paralysed on her spot and watched the bars of a cage appear in front of her.

The sound of a lock startled her as she snapped herself back into consciousness. 

A warm ray of daylight entered through her curtains, adding colour and light to the otherwise dimmed room. It almost made Tohru think of a coloured version of the beginning of her dream. Panicked, she sat up and swiftly skimmed the room, searching for any person that resembled mother. What she found was her mother inside a foreign photo frame on her bedside table, accompanied by an orange sticky note. 

The unfamiliarity stemmed from the fact that instead of the usual brown frame, the frame was a dark pink. The picture of her mother remained the same, but it was rather odd that the frame changed. She then figured that she must’ve replaced her mother’s picture frame over the two years she’s forgotten. 

The sticky note on the frame had very neat handwriting that said: “For you.” She didn’t recognise the handwriting itself, but she figured that somebody that was extremely nice must have delivered her mother to her. She hoped with her heart that she could repay them; she wouldn’t know what she would’ve done without their act of kindness. Tohru smiled to herself; feeling peace in that fact that her mother wasn’t gone forever. That she could stay with her longer and not be left alone. Clutching the picture frame to her chest, she gently whispered: 

“It’s alright mother, we’ll always be together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so it took a lot of thinking with how to handle her amnesia. The thing about amnesia is that your memories aren’t just gone: it impacts your cognition on how you retrieve your memories; and Tohru’s subconscious definitely did not want to forget. It’s constantly reminding her: Kyo’s confinement is coming, do something. But consciously, Tohru doesn’t know WHAT to do. She doesn’t even know what her own brain is signalling to her (as usual - since she hasn’t even begun to deal with her grief at the point her mental has returned to). This development CERTAINLY won’t do well for her mental state at all, because it’s more mental baggage she has to carry.
> 
> Now as for the sticky note; I sure hope you guys can guess who this person is. 
> 
> Hints:  
> a) the person lived with Tohru (since they had the picture in the first place)  
> b) the person knows Tohru well enough to know that she’ll be RESTLESS without her mother’s photo.  
> c) “For you” is a quote from a particular scene in the canon.  
> d) The person keeps orange sticky notes (:D)
> 
> ...this is too easy. Lol well, hope you enjoyed!


	14. Observance and Action

The current development was not what Shigure expected; neither was it a development that he wanted. 

“Kyo! Welcome home!” the dog greeted as Kyo entered the living room, “about time! I was starving for breakfast!” 

On surface level, Kyo’s eyes flickered with annoyance, but Shigure felt the defiance and resolve that lied underneath the expression. Kyo had truly changed over the course of the last few days. 

“Since when did I become your personal servant for cooking?” Kyo questioned, ruffling the back of his head, “honestly, you or Yuki should learn to cook.” 

“Sorry about that,” Shigure chuckled, as Kyo went into the kitchen. 

The resentment he held inside; Shigure could tell how toned down it was. The mood between Yuki and Kyo was more friendly than hostile now. It was the ‘Tohru-effect’ as Shigure liked to call it. This was alright though; it was a stray from tradition that the cat and rat were beginning to get along. However, with the Tohru’s disappearance from his chess board; he seriously had to think smartly with his remaining pawns. Now that Akito has gained an upper hand with regaining control of the zodiac; he had to make a big change to dent her confidence.

“Good morning,” Yuki yawned, entering the living room, and sitting at the table. 

“Oh hello Yuki!” Shigure greeted, smiling as he picked up a nearby newspaper from the table and opened it, “still being a non-morning person, huh?” 

“Oh shut up,” Yuki spat in irritation. 

“How was your sleep?” Shigure asked as Yuki’s eye twitched. 

“O-Oh...yeah, I got some sleep,” Yuki vaguely responded, “though it was getting a bit hot.” 

Shigure caught onto that slip of hesitation; and began to play around with potential reasons behind it. He was aware that Yuki was the sole person to deal with Tohru’s situation and also knew that he figured out that she had amnesia from Kakeru Manabe: a close friend of his. Kyo and Yuki had a much more lighter air around them, but after school the day before, there was something different about his atmosphere. Like Kyo, he saw defiance in his aura; but instead of resolve, he saw doubt. 

“Breakfast’s ready, I whipped up some quick rice balls,” Kyo muttered, entering the room with a huge plate of them. 

“Thank you!” Shigure grinned, though he continued to observe the rat, who looked away. 

However, the minor flash of emotion the dog caught in Yuki’s violet eyes indicated that a wave of guilt was washing over him. That feeling seemed to spark from Kyo’s presence of determination. 

Normally, without context, Shigure’s mind would be grey with confusion. However, he was able to differentiate between black and white in this scenario...

Shigure expected this development. 

The moment he found out about Tohru’s memory erase from Hatori; he knew of Kakeru’s presence in the waiting room. From stories he had heard from Ayame’s visit to the school’s student council, he was aware of his positive impact on the rat: Yuki was becoming a more extroverted and vocal person compared to his previous self. Knowing that he was a very close friend and a major influence, he decided to press on him and use him to his advantage. 

He gave hints, spoke half truths, and left him hanging so that he’d be left with confusion and curiosity. If he had gauged Kakeru correctly, it’d lead him to be more observant of Yuki, Tohru and Kyo’s scenario. Shigure was aware that Kyo was probably going to be separated from Tohru; and it’d be obvious to anyone that something was happening. But Kakeru; being one of the more closer people to Yuki and someone who was aware enough; would probably raise his observations and opinions about the situation to him from an outsider’s perspective. 

With this, he fully expected Yuki to doubt his decisions of avoiding Tohru; and potentially reproach her again. It was as simple as moving a pawn to the end of the chess board, and switching it out for the Queen. With that, Akito’s control will be trivialised again, and Shigure has the ball in his court. 

Over the next few days, he began to observe them to see what Yuki and Kyo do next. 

“How was your first day at your new school, Kyo?” Shigure asked at the dinner table on the first evening they had to live with their new routines. 

“Oh, yeah...it’s fine I guess,” Kyo replied dismissively, picking at his food in agitation, “not really the biggest fan of it, but I guess I have to deal with it.”

Shigure caught on that the lack of Tohru in his life was increasingly weighing on him as each day went by. 

“Yuki! How was school without Kyo there?” Shigure continued with fake cheerfulness. 

“It’s better this way,” Yuki muttered in sarcasm resulting in an offended scoff from the cat. 

“Shut up!” Kyo reacted, as he began eating faster. Though the two of them exchanged a knowing smirk. So the two of them were on terms where they could jokingly insult each other. 

Other than those major point, he noticed that Yuki was beginning to feel more pensive at the table; especially around Kyo. Though the rat did a splendid job at hiding it, the watchful dog noticed with his keen eye. Yuki wasn’t escaping from Shigure’s radar when he was such a keystone to his modified plan. 

Two weeks later, Shigure had finished running an errand at the post office when he spotted a familiar face. A shrewd smirk formed on his face as he saw how lucky he was. 

“Kakeru-kun! It’s nice to meet you again!” Shigure approached cheerfully. This was a pure coincidence, but it was perfect as it meant that he could push the boy further into influencing Yuki. 

“Ah! Uh...oh, hi Shigure-san,” Kakeru replied hesitantly. Shigure knew that he was suspicious and careful of him, so he trudged this landline carefully. 

“What’re you doing at the post office?” Shigure asked curiously, as Kakeru stuffed his hands into his pocket and the two of them began to walk out together. The road itself wasn’t busy as it was early morning on a weekend; so the two of them could talk freely. 

“Nothing much, just doing some odd jobs for my mom,” Kakeru answered, with a hint of discomfort in his voice. Shigure wondered how far he could dig into his mind. 

“I see, that’s admirable,” Shigure nodded, “Yuki and Kyo would never do such a thing for me. Ah, but Tohru did.” 

“Ah, yeah,” Kakeru humoured, “Yuki’s kinda stubborn if you’re someone who annoys him, and Honda-san’s kind....not to sure about Kyo though.” 

Shigure decided to hone in on the situation at hand. 

“Speaking of Kyo, how do you feel about his absence from school?” he asked inquisitively. He saw Kakeru trembling a little, but then he stopped himself. 

“Oh, I guess it’s kinda lonely, he was someone who hung around with Yuki’s group a lot,” Kakeru responded, “ah, but then Kyo still lives with you guys.” 

“Oh yeah, he goes to a different school now,” Shigure agreed, “he’s not allowed to spend time near Tohru anymore thanks to her memory loss.” 

“Yep,” Kakeru confirmed, as Shigure noted that he knew about that part. He figured that Yuki probably told him about how Tohru wasn’t allowed near their family because they held a secret. 

“Speaking of which, about what I told you last time we met,” Shigure spoke, as he began to change the light mood, “how are you feeling about that? Are you curious about wanting to know more?” 

A rare car sped past them on the footpath; encouraging a giant gust of wind. Kakeru stopped in his tracks, and when the dog turned, he saw a cold glare in the boy’s eyes. 

“What do you want from me?” Kakeru asked. Shigure smirked at this development; the boy was much more astute than he figured. 

“Whatever do you mean?” Shigure asked innocently. Kakeru stepped forward in a confronting manner; the dog began to admire his courage. 

“Let me get this clear. I know you’re up to something, you can’t fool me,” Kakeru explained harshly, “I don’t trust you.” 

Shigure’s facial expression darkened, as he stood over him intimidatingly. A surprising chill filled the early morning summer atmosphere, as the street remained bare. Kakeru stepped back defensively, sweat trickling down his face. 

“Well, even if you do have that knowledge, what are you going to do about it?” Shigure questioned, as he increased the pressure on the boy by stepping forward, “I know your intention; you’re going to try and fight for Yuki no matter what. But here’s the thing: outsiders can’t fight, not against our family curse.” 

Shigure dropped that hint very carefully. With the emphasis on ‘outsider’ once again, he tried to signal to Kakeru that he had to do something about this. Not just him, actually, he had to play one of the main roles of retrieving the Queen: the role of returning Tohru to his chess board. 

“Family...what?” Kakeru repeated, his eyes wide with confusion. 

“Your friend Yuki is different to what meets the eye. He’s hiding something very important from not just you; but everyone. Tohru had knowledge of what it was, but with her memories gone, I guess that’s someone else off the list,” Shigure continued vaguely, “I wonder how much you can really do with the knowledge you have...I really wonder how much of the truth you can truly accept.” 

Shigure watched Kakeru gulp back words as he only looked at him in horror. Good, he was definitely getting to him. The intention was to challenge Kakeru and make him think. 

“I...I ask again,” Kakeru spoke up, his voice choking with anxiety, “what do you want from me?” 

Silence pierced the atmosphere. The morning birds went quiet; and the distant cars were nowhere to be seen. The number of people around were limited. If the dog had imagined the world in Kakeru’s eyes, he’d bet that it became nothing but the two of them. 

Shigure smiled savagely, before turning around, “I want you to continue being a very supportive and caring friend to Yuki okay?” 

With that, he turned around and began to walk away from him. Leaving him hanging once again, Shigure wondered what new situations will arise. 

When he returned home, he was confronted by Yuki at the door. He gave him an angry glare. 

“What are you doing?” He questioned, as the dog innocently shrugged.

“What are you talking about?” Shigure asked innocently, riding the current of the scenario presented to him. 

“Do you think that you could get away with what you’ve done?” Yuki asked accusingly, “honestly, I can’t believe you would try to do this.” 

“I’m still not following,” Shigure answered seriously. 

Kyo stepped out into the hallway, with a towel around neck. 

“What’s up, Yuki? Hell, why’re you awake so early on a weekend?” Kyo asked curiously, rubbing his sweating face. He was probably doing some morning exercise. 

Yuki sighed. 

“I got a phone call from my brother in the morning thanks to him,” He explained, gesturing to Shigure, “the 30 calls and miscall notifications I got woke me up, and it’s because this idiot went and told him last night that I needed emotional support!” 

Shigure giggled, “but it’s true!”

“I want to skin you alive and maybe cook you for supper,” Yuki threatened. 

“Oh no! Don’t do that!” Shigure dramatically cried as he leaned on the wall, “do anything but group me with your disgusting cooking!” 

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Kyo commented. 

As the two boys went back into the living room, Shigure smirked. Looks like more things have been set in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lolll were you guys thoroughly pranked at the end? Well anyway, I was actually avoiding Shigure for a while there...his perspective was just too hard to write. But this time I swallowed my pride and dived in. But sorry if he was a bit out of character this chapter if you’ve noticed anything like that. 
> 
> I also felt super big brain, as I pulled all of his plans together, but let’s see how much of it works....and how much he’s going to use outsiders for this too...
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	15. Worry

It had been three weeks since the entire incident with Tohru occurred. Since then Yuki’s felt increasingly lost and overwhelmed with the change. Not only was it painful to see Kyo coping with losing the love of his life while adapting to his new school, but Kakeru’s words and his own doubtful thoughts kept echoing in his mind. 

“Did you guys hear?” Shigure nonchalantly chatted at the breakfast table, “Tohru got discharged yesterday! Aren’t we glad we managed to move all her stuff on time?” 

Yuki quietly ate his rice, as he observed Kyo’s seemingly disinterested facial reaction. 

“Yeah,” he nodded, before looking away in daze. 

Lately, Kyo’s been more introverted and more prone to spacing out into his thoughts. Yuki could only imagine that he was being plagued by the bittersweet memories he shared with Tohru. It became a contagious disease, as whenever the rat caught Kyo doing this, he began to drift off into his thoughts too. 

Was this really okay? It felt like they were leaving everything they had with Tohru behind the more. Then there was what she said in their initial interactions; he had promised to befriend her. 

But befriending her again was too risky; for multiple reasons. 

“What’s up? You’ve been quiet,” Kyo interrupted, as Yuki shook out of them. Guilt crashed onto the rat like a thunder clap; he and Kyo collectively decided not to involve Tohru any longer and break the curse themselves. Why was he hesitating about that?

“Wh-What? I’m fine!” Yuki stuttered, struggling to form words. Before he knew it, Shigure had disappeared off somewhere, and it was just those two at the dinner table. 

“You’ve been acting strange over the past few weeks...ever since the day I left the school,” Kyo sighed, gazing at him. Yuki felt the cat’s eyes piercing into him; he felt like super transparent glass. He didn’t expect Kyo to be that observant of him. 

“I-It’s—“ Yuki began. 

“Are you hiding something?” Kyo questioned, knowingly closing his eyes. 

Yuki had to regain his composure; exposing his dark doubts was not something he wanted to do. Kyo would be enraged; and he didn’t want to deal with it. 

“You’ve been quiet too,” Yuki challenged, in an attempt to change the topic, “you’ve been on your thoughts too much lately.” 

Kyo chuckled bitterly, “you noticed?”

Yuki felt his chest ache as he watched the cat go quiet. The air was quiet, but emotional. It pulled the rat’s heart strings. 

“I’m sorry...” Yuki spoke quietly, realising he had overstepped his boundaries, “I just feel slightly depressed and agitated now that everything’s changed.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Kyo dismissed with a sigh, “I’m the one who got stupidly skeptical; it’s as if my instincts to hate you don’t stop. 

Yuki didn’t think about that. His instincts were telling him to not feel attacked by the cat’s words and not heed to his words. They told him to hate the person in front of him. But Yuki didn’t want that. He had to remain transparent; a small part of him knew that. But, it was too painful; the vengeful voice in his mind had a megaphone. 

He had to overcome it. 

“I—“ Yuki began, but Kyo managed to beat him at speaking up. 

“I feel like I’m going insane...” Kyo admitted, his body trembling and his eyes wide, “I miss her so much, I can hardly contain it.” 

Kyo was cleaning his foggy window so that Yuki could see through it. 

“I keep hallucinating...and I’m tearing up every two minutes,” Kyo continued, holding his hand to his head, “I hate it. I hate it so much. It’s so stupid.” 

“Yeah,” Yuki agreed sympathetically, “I can only imagine. Coping with the fact that Honda-san’s just...gone from our worlds. It would be as if we never met theoretically. But us cursed members of the zodiac know it more than anyone...how untrue that is.” 

Kyo took a deep breath.

“I feel like this is my fault,” Kyo said, his voice quiet, “I should’ve known that the day would come where I wouldn’t be able to apologise.” 

Yuki said nothing, he had no idea what Kyo was going through. He couldn’t even begin to comprehend how important Tohru was to Kyo. Nothing he said could console him. The cat stood up with his finished plate. 

“I’m heading to school,” Kyo informed before freezing, “wait, if Tohru got discharged yesterday then she should be back today....” 

Yuki jolted in surprise, almost spilling the last of his food. 

“Oh!” He exclaimed, “I guess you’re right!” 

“Let me know how she is, I guess....” Kyo sighed, as he turned around and began to walk to the kitchen, “I can’t stop worrying.” 

Yuki smiled to himself; it was made evident to him that Kyo was still looking out for Tohru’s happiness. It was something the rat really valued to. 

When Yuki got to school, he spotted Machi slightly ahead of him. Suddenly, it felt like all his negative thoughts vanished. Seeing her truly made his day better. 

“Good morning Machi!” he called, as she turned around in surprise. Yuki found her wide eyes adorable. 

“Oh. Hello...” Machi replied timidly, as the two of them began to walk side by side. 

“How was your weekend?” The rat asked. 

“It was fine,” Machi answered. 

“That’s good!” Yuki happily replied, before the conversation fell into a comfortable silence. He felt at home with her; security and peace pulsed through him. He truly loved her; it was a natural realisation that birthed within him as an obvious truth. 

Then he began to wonder: If Machi found out about the curse; would she accept him? 

He quickly dismissed the thought. He couldn’t tell Machi right now. It’d be like getting her involved; and Yuki certainly wasn’t ready to do that. Not after what had happened with Tohru. Kyo’s words suddenly entered his mind.

“I feel like I’m going insane...I miss her so much, I can hardly contain it.” 

What would he do if Machi lost her memories and was never to interact with him again? 

Yuki stopped in his tracks. Machi walked a few paces ahead before him and turned around in confusion. 

“President?” Machi asked, her voice meek. Yuki narrowed his eyes in an attempt to not cry at his dark thought. It would be too much for him to bear. He wished to embrace her, and never let her go; not let her slip from his grasp like previous relationships had. 

“I-It’s nothing....” Yuki choked out, feeling timid under her worried gaze. 

“Oh, okay...” Machi replied before turning away from him, “you’re both acting the same...” 

“Huh?” Yuki questioned, catching up to her as they both began to walk again. 

“You and Kakeru,” Machi spoke quietly, “both of you have been living in your thoughts for the past few days. I really wish I could do something to help.” 

Yuki felt terrible. With the entire situation that occurred, he not only worried Machi, but Kakeru as well. Yes, it made him feel special that he was able to have their concern; but if his problems were the occupant of their current thoughts; the rat felt shame. 

Right now though, he had to quell Machi’s doubts. 

“You’re doing plenty,” Yuki smiled, gently taping her shoulder in comfort, “the fact that you’re willing to be there for me; it makes me so happy. It gives me the hope to keep going. One day, I’ll tell you everything; that I promise.” 

This wasn’t a lie. On the day the curse broke, Yuki planned to tell Machi everything. The rat had to work hard so that the day could arrive; this was yet another motivation. 

Yuki felt slightly more determined with this resolve in mind; Machi truly did facilitate encouragement within him. 

“Well, my class is this way...” Machi dismissed, as she turned and walked away from him. 

“Oh, bye Machi!” Yuki waved cheerfully, before turning to head to his own class. 

Once he got there, he stopped at the door; similarly to how he would when he was still figuring out how to interact with people. 

On the same vein, he realised that Tohru was most likely in there. He hadn’t seen her for three weeks; and she was different now. How was he supposed to treat her? How was he supposed to approach her? 

“S-Sohma-kun!” A timid, familiar voice called from behind him. Yuki was unprepared. He turned around and saw Tohru fidgeting with her bag nervously. 

“Oh! Uh...Honda-san?” Yuki acknowledged, feeling slightly hurt at the reversion of formalities. 

“I apologise for my rudeness, but we’re going to be late for class, so...ummm,” Tohru began as Yuki smiled and stepped away from the door. She was being her usual self. 

“It’s fine,” the rat responded, “I’m the one who was in the way, so I should be apologising.” 

Tohru bowed politely.

“Oh no, it’s alright!” She smiled, a look of slight surprise etched onto her face, “thank you so much for being so kind about it.” 

“No problem,” Yuki replied, “just let anyone know if you have any problems okay? Our class has already heard about what happened to you last week, so everyone’s willing to help.” 

The rat knew she wouldn’t heed to the advice; in fact, he really shouldn’t have said that since that would mean letting her be open to interacting with him. However, subconsciously, he wanted to let her know that he still cared about her; that he was still there for her. 

“Thank you so much, Sohma-kun!” Tohru happily responded, before they entered class together. Yuki felt himself twitch at the name; he was going to have to get used to this. 

Throughout the day, Yuki observed Tohru from afar. As usual, she seemed like her normal, cheerful self. An outsider might look at the classroom and think that nothing had changed except for Kyo’s absence. 

However, he did see the major setbacks that she suffered through. She missed out on class to take a more accelerated course to catch up with school. She was also unaware of what a lot of class discussions entailed; such as when they joked about the school play, or when they talked about current affairs. But she looked like she was trying earnestly hard to catch up and contribute anyway; even if her attempts failed miserably. 

After school, Tohru had to stay behind to take extra tutorial class. Meanwhile, Yuki went to the student council room; only to find that everyone wasn’t there. The only person who waited outside was Kakeru. 

“What’s...going on?” Yuki asked in confusion. 

“Sup,” Kakeru greeted, “turns out the teacher wanted to use the room today. See?” 

The rat read the note on the door: “ROOM OCCUPIED UNTIL 5PM.” 

“Oh, is that so...so we just go home?” Yuki asked looking around, “but then why did you wait around here?”

“Because...” Kakeru began, before turning away and dismissing that sentence, “let’s walk home together!” 

The two of them walked away from the room; maintaining silence as they walked. Yuki recalled Machi’s words of how he was also living in his thoughts. Observing him right now, he had a very thoughtful, almost stressed expression on his face. Worry began to enter the rat’s mind; this can’t just be about Yuki’s situation, something dire must have happened. 

“Kakeru,” Yuki called seriously, stopping in his tracks. They were in an outdoor corridor that led out of the school, and looking around, Yuki recognised that this was the very same one that they argued at. The surrounding area was empty as students were focussed on their after school club activities. 

Kakeru turned around with a small smile on his face. 

“What’s up, Yun-Yun?” He asked with fake cheerfulness. 

Yuki gave a cold stare. 

“Something happened,” Yuki confronted, as Kakeru froze, “you’re hiding something from me.” 

“Nothing’s happened!” Kakeru played off with a chuckle. 

His best friend looked around nervously, smiling to hide his agitation. Yuki suddenly recognised that this situation mirrored the one he and Kyo had this morning. Learning from that experience, he tried to be emotionally aware of how the brunette was feeling. He took a deep breath, and looked Kakeru in the eye, adding warmth and empathy to his gaze as he did so. 

“You can talk to me if you have a problem, I’m here for you,” Yuki smiled, tapping his friend on the shoulder, “I know you were willing to do the same for me.” 

Kakeru looked puzzled; almost like someone had given him the hardest question of his life, and he had to solve it in 2 minutes. 

“Um, yeah...” Kakeru replied hesitantly, “not sure how much of a good idea that is though...it feels like any decision I’ll make will be a bad one, as always. I’m at a crossroad here; if I move on my emotions, I might say something stupid again, but if I don’t, I could make the situation worse. I don’t know what to do.” 

“Just say it out,” Yuki quoted, walking a little ahead, “I’m stupid, so I won’t know unless you tell me.” 

Kakeru chuckled. He began to laugh. He began to laugh out loud. 

“Are you kidding me!?” He exclaimed, as the rat gave him a confused look. 

“What?” Yuki asked innocently, before Kakeru grinned at him. 

“You really had to pull out the quote of the black ranger Kakeru Manabe!” Kakeru bragged before sighing, “fine, you win...let’s change locations.” 

They moved to the staircase where Yuki once openly conversed with Kakeru about his inner emotions on Tohru. Now the situation was the same, except the roles were reversed. Yuki was going to calmly listen to everything that Kakeru had to say; without reacting or judging. Just like how he had done for him. 

“So...I didn’t tell you this, but at the hospital, I talked to Shigure-san after our phone call,” Kakeru began, “I also met him last week at the post office.” 

“Yeah,” Yuki nodded, not liking the direction of where this was going. The moment Kakeru mentioned Shigure; he knew that the dog must be plotting something with the brunette. He never trusted him, as he could never pinpoint what was going on in his mind. 

“He told me about how you were hiding something about your family secret, and how you were different to what meets the eye,” Kakeru explained, his voice rising in concern, “and he kept emphasising that an outsider like me couldn’t do anything about it and stuff. He definitely wants to use me for something, he wants me to react in a certain way. I just don’t know what I’m meant to do; I don’t understand what he wants from me, and I don’t know what the right thing to do is.” 

“Wait,” Yuki stopped him, collecting his thoughts, “Shigure really said all that to you?” 

“Yeah, I began to feel those thoughts again: that I was being a terrible friend to you,” Kakeru sighed, “I can’t help you, and I can’t figure out what to do with Shigure’s words either. I’m just so emotionally dumb that I don’t know what to do with myself! The worst part is that I’m beginning to doubt my friendship with you...he told me that he wondered how much of the truth about you I could truly accept...I feel so stupid; like I am being downgraded by a stupid family secret.”

In Kakeru’s moment of vulnerability and emotion, the two of them went silent. Yuki didn’t realise how much he was weighing on his best friend’s mind. He felt his heart sting in agony. Shigure’s words and also the rat’s attempts to not involve any outsiders must have really hurt his best friend’s feelings. In hindsight, Yuki should be the one feeling stupid; however, he can’t let this feeling last. 

He can’t let family secret undermine the friendship the two of them had built together. He can’t let it overpower him any longer. He was going to break the curse. 

The nature of the curse allowed no outsiders to be involved. But, Yuki had to defy that. He had to go against the current.

A dramatic gust of wind blew by them as Yuki made his decision: he was going to tell Kakeru of the curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I’ve started drowning in uni work, so that’s fun! Thanks for waiting so patiently! 
> 
> This chapter was super hard to write, mainly because I didn’t know how to pace it. But now, Yuki’s going to tell Kakeru! Let’s see how this goes, and how he takes it! 
> 
> By the way, what do you guys think the other zodiac members are doing, and what Kyo’s doing at this point? And how do you think Tohru’s feeling on her new first day of school? Let’s see how it goes! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	16. Confusion

The last few weeks have been nothing but harsh to Tohru. She’s been drowning in her mind that only provided her with emptiness. She kept having strange recurring nightmares about all her dark thoughts buried deep within her mind; and she couldn’t stop thinking about things she couldn’t even comprehend. 

Her time at the hospital was mental torture. She was constantly left alone in her incomplete thoughts; and her mother’s photo, which she normally considered her only source of comfort, did not help her at all. Then, the times she got visitors; which alternated between Uotani and Hanajima, and also her grandfather; she forced up an armour of positivity which struggled to hold up against the force of her negativity. It was painful; and Tohru didn’t know how to escape. She didn’t find solace on her own or with other people. 

When she got discharged, she moved back with her grandfather, and saw the renovated house for seemingly the first time. She had to physically remind herself that it changed years ago. Staying with her extended family, she felt isolated and alone. Her family berated her for losing her memory of the past two years and they also talked of moments like when they went to Hawaii, or when her grandfather collapsed. It felt like they were intentionally trying to leave her out; but she had to grin and bear it no matter how left out she was. Just like how she did when everyone played “Fruits Basket” so long ago. After all, she can’t complain if they were once again giving her a roof over her head. 

When she returned to school; everyone around her was so kind. Mayuko did her best to ease her back into school life. Hanajima and Uotani stayed by her side for most of the day. The various other members of her class did their best to accomodate for her; even Prince Yuki Sohma did! Not to mention, everyone seemed taller and more matured compared to the last time she saw them. It was amazing! 

However, it made her loneliness grow. Supposedly, Tohru also grew along with them. She made good memories such as being part of a class play, and going on school field trip. However, all of that was just sapped out of her; it was non existent in her mind.

Now she was just stuck trying to catch up with the class on almost everything. She was given special treatment; she was different, an outcast. The cycle just never seemed to end. 

When the final bell for the day rang, everyone had to leave Tohru behind for extra tutorial. 

“Since it’s your first one, I’ll go a bit easy,” Mayuko reassured at her desk, as Tohru smiled at her. 

“Thank you so much!” Tohru beamed, grateful for how much work her teacher was putting in for her. On the flip side though; she realised that Mayuko was wasting time for her. 

“It must be tough on you...” the teacher sighed, beginning to pull out some notes from her drawers, “my best friend went through the same thing. Although she only lost two months; she still struggled to catch up on various things.” 

“Oh is that so? How’s she doing now?” Tohru asked out of concern, “did she get her memories back?” 

“This happened four years ago; she’s fine now, but hasn’t got her memories back,” Mayuko smiled, with a hint of sadness in her eyes. 

“I see, I’m sorry...” Tohru mumbled, feeling terrible for asking that. Not only for the reason that if that person didn’t get their memories back then she can’t either; but also because she probably hurt Mayuko’s feelings by asking that question. 

“Oh yeah! Honda, can I ask you for a favour?” Mayuko asked, picking up her purse from the ground near her desk. 

“Oh, yes?” Tohru questioned as her teacher took out a key. 

“I accidentally forgot an important folder of mine in a classroom downstairs...can you go get it for me?” Mayuko asked, as she threw Tohru the key. She squeaked and fumbled around while trying to catch it. She dropped it instead. 

“Ahhh...” Tohru sighed, bending down to pick it up, “yes! Of course!” 

She immediately stood and ran out of class. She had to make it up to Mayuko somehow. 

On her way to the classroom, she overheard extremely loud laughter. Peaking into the outdoor corridor that led to the second half of the school, she spotted Yuki and another person conversing. Looking closely, the second person was Kakeru Manabe; the current Vice President of the student council. They had also met a little bit after her mother’s funeral, although she had made him very upset that day. 

“Are you kidding me!?” Kakeru exclaimed, earning a confused look from the prince. 

“What?” Yuki asked innocently, before the brunette threw him a friendly-looking grin. 

“You really had to pull out the quote of the black ranger Kakeru Manabe!” He bragged before sighing, “fine, you win...let’s change locations.” 

Tohru was baffled; she wasn’t aware that Yuki was this friendly with other people. Part of his aura gave him the mysterious vibes but seeing him open with someone was definitely a unique side of him. 

A small voice in her head told her that she should follow them. She felt a sense of familiarity; like she actually knew him more personally. She’s even seen Yuki in some of her dreams. 

But she shouldn’t impose on them; eavesdropping is rude. 

Tohru attempted to walk towards the classroom again, but froze. Maybe Yuki had some sort of key to getting her memories back. The push and pull between her subconscious and her mind began to grow more in tension. But the force of what her body wanted her to do grew increasingly larger; before it completely swept her logical thought away. Before she knew it, she was following them. 

They moved to the staircase that bordered the school’s soccer field. Tohru hid behind a vending machine, as she listened in on the two of them. Inside, she was screaming at herself; telling herself how much of a bad idea this was. But she couldn’t run. Part of her was convinced to stay because of how important this was. 

“So...I didn’t tell you this, but at the hospital, I talked to Shigure-san after our phone call,” Kakeru began, “I also met him last week at the post office.” 

Shigure? Tohru thought to herself: Shigure was Yuki’s older cousin who shared her passion for the Chinese zodiac. He seemed really kind. 

“Yeah,” Yuki nodded. 

“He told me about how you were hiding something about your family secret, and how you were different to what meets the eye,” Kakeru explained, emotion evident in his voice, “and he kept emphasising that an outsider like me couldn’t do anything about it and stuff.”

Tohru vaguely remembered words about a family secret being spoken to her. It was the memory of a dark place, with a male individual smirking at her angrily. She felt like she knew what this was about. But what was it? Did she actually know what it was, or was her mind making things up? 

“He definitely wants to use me for something, he wants me to react in a certain way,” Kakeru continued in slight despair, “I just don’t know what I’m meant to do; I don’t understand what he wants from me, and I don’t know what the right thing to do is.” 

“Wait,” Yuki interrupted, “Shigure really said all that to you?” 

Tohru also became confused. Shigure was that type of person? There was no way. He seemed like a very cheerful, light-hearted person, besides, her mother always told her to believe rather than doubt. She shouldn’t pay heed to it; not without having the full depth of her memories.

“Yeah, I began to feel those thoughts again: that I was being a terrible friend to you,” Kakeru sighed, “I can’t help you, and I can’t figure out what to do with Shigure’s words either. I’m just so emotionally dumb that I don’t know what to do with myself! The worst part is that I’m beginning to doubt my friendship with you...he told me that he wondered how much of the truth about you I could truly accept...I feel so stupid; like I am being downgraded by a stupid family secret.”

Tohru gasped at Kakeru’s outburst as the two of them went silent. Tohru thought to herself: she didn’t remember his exact words from when they first met; but she did wonder how much she had hurt him and felt terrible for it. But now she felt like she had a bit of context on his feelings; now he was trying to move forward from how he was back then. She placed a hand to her heart; feeling it’s rapid heart beat while trying to calm herself. A gust of wind blew as she began to focus on her breathing. 

Yuki took a deep breath, interrupting Tohru’s train of thought, “Kakeru, have you ever heard of the Chinese zodiac folktale?” 

“Huh? Of course not,” Kakeru denied, “it’s an old story which my family had no time for. I do know what the animals are though...there’s twelve of them right?” 

Tohru began to wonder why her classmate was bringing this up. He remembered talking to him about it before; and she also was impacted by his distinct hatred of the cat. 

“Well, basically, god invited thirteen animals to a banquet which was the following day,” Yuki explained, “the twelve commonly known animals of the zodiac, plus the cat.” 

“There’s a cat involved?” Kakeru asked quizzically. Tohru sighed sympathetically. Of course he didn’t know of the cat; that was to be expected. 

“Yeah, however....” Yuki paused; but after another deep breath he continued, “the rat tricked the cat into going on a different day; and so at the banquet, everyone but the cat showed up.” 

“Ouch,” Kakeru reacted, “that’s gotta suck. But that’s why the cat isn’t an official member huh?” 

Tohru remembered the sadness she felt when she heard of how alone the cat must have felt. The folktale was a story which saddened her. Another gust of wind blew her out of her thoughts as dust began to get in her eyes.

“Now imagine that story, but in the context of a family in real life,” Yuki finished. Tohru had to physically process that sentence. 

So the zodiac folktale actually existed with a family in real life. Piecing together that Yuki was talking about a family secret, she realised he was talking about his own family. Tohru gasped at the revelation; however Kakeru seemed to have figured it out much faster than she did. 

“What?! That’s what your family secret is!?” He exclaimed, as Yuki gave him a hesitant nod. 

“Yep. Thirteen selected members of our family are cursed by an animal of the zodiac; when they hug a person of the opposite gender, or when their body becomes extremely weak, they transform into their respective animal,” Yuki elaborated, his voice choking on itself, “the twelve members are bound to the god that lies in the centre of it all, while the cat....gets treated as an outcast.” 

Tohru felt like her head had just been bashed by a rough stone; because it began to throb violently. As she processed what had been said, she had a realisation that this fact had been mentioned to her before. She wasn’t surprised; more so confused. 

“Honda-san knew of it,” Yuki explained, as Tohru did her best to listen in through the pain, “she knew for two years; and she accepted it despite how ugly the truth was. She was like a light source for the zodiac members who had stuffed themselves in darkness. But now that she’s gone; everyone’s a mess. No one’s okay after that.”

Tohru began to tear up. She managed to get to know the Sohma family in the time she had forgotten; and she even managed to help them. But because she forgot; she was selfishly able to move on with her life, and left everyone else to suffer. This was pathetic; truly pathetic. 

“That’s...” Kakeru began, but he was thoroughly interrupted. 

“Kakeru, I’m the rat,” Yuki revealed, looking him straight in the eye, “I’m the holder of the spirit who outcasted the cat, and despite everything, still greedily took on Honda-san’s light source without giving anything in return.” 

But before she could hear a reaction, she yelped out in pain. Her head began to pulse painfully as she fell onto her side and began panting heavily. What was happening?

Before she knew it, she found out she had interrupted their conversation; because Yuki and Kakeru were by her side immediately. 

“Honda-san!?” Yuki exclaimed, kneeling down next to her and grabbing her shoulder. 

“What’s going on?” Kakeru asked in concern. 

“I don’t know...I don’t know but we have to get her to the nurse’s office!” Yuki replied, as Tohru’s surroundings began to darken. She was hyperventilating. But why? 

Before she could answer that question, she was out cold. 

Tohru later awoke with a jolt. She found herself in the school infirmary; was she carried there? Her head began to stings as Tohru clasped onto it. 

“Honda-san, you’re awake?” A voice spoke up; and she turned to find Kakeru smiling down at her, “don’t worry, it’s just me. Yuki went to go inform Mayuko-Sensei.”

“M-Manabe-kun?” Tohru acknowledged, feeling slight distress that she was interacting with someone she had once upset. She wondered if they were on good terms in the memories she had lost. 

“That’s me! I’m surprised you remembered,” Kakeru chuckled. Tohru joined in with a small laugh. 

“Of course,” Tohru smiled, “you’re the vi—“

“Heh, though your memory of me is probably still the bad one I gave you huh?” Kakeru sighed, before looking her in the eye with determination that startled her, “I’ll say this again to you again; though you’ve forgotten; but I’m sorry for hurting your feelings back then.” 

“Oh no, it’s alright!” Tohru replied, “I’m sorry I can’t remember it...hehe, there’s a lot of things that I’ve just forgotten huh? I’m truly sorry.” 

“It’s fine, you didn’t remember when I apologised earlier too. It’s pretty much what I expected; I just didn’t want you feeling uncomfortable while talking to me,” Kakeru reassured, “back then, I didn’t think things over, I didn’t understand things. Now, about now...I want to understand a little better. I want to understand people like you and Yuki better.” 

Tohru felt hurt when she heard about stuff she did before; it felt like everyone around her knew about her than she did herself. Even so, she wanted to know herself better; she wanted to regain her memories and feel included with everyone again. But was she even allowed; was it even possible? 

“Isn’t a selfish request okay sometimes? If someone asked for selfish stuff everyday, it’d piss me off. But in your case...it’s okay to complain, or be selfish, or get discouraged every once in a while.” 

It was as if her brain fed those words to her. She recognised some of it as her mother’s advice from ages ago; but something about it was different. It was said by a different person; it made her feel something else. 

“I...I want to understand better too...” Tohru spoke up quietly, tears in her eyes as she heeded to the mysterious advice, “I want to understand myself, Sohma-kun, you, and everyone I’ve interacted with in the last two years. I want to regain my memories.” 

She began to quietly sniffle, as tears fell out of her eyes. It was out of her control; and she certainly realised she was probably burdening Kakeru with her weakness. She wondered if this was a bad idea. 

“So you heard...” the brunette acknowledged, “you heard everything me and Yuki talked about?” 

“Yes...” Tohru nodded. 

“Even about the family secret and stuff?” Kakeru asked quickly. 

“Yes, I heard that too,” Tohru replied. 

“You...You heard my extremely embarrassing monologues!?!?” Kakeru dramatically questioned, in an attempt to lighten the mood. Tohru chuckled at his rebound. 

“I actually thought they were pretty cool,” Tohru replied as she wiped her tears, “it made me think of how caring you are towards Sohma-kun, you two must be super close! My most recent memory of Sohma-kun was him being quiet and closed off, but he looks much more happier and smiles more....that must be after meeting you!” 

She gave Kakeru a warm smile; and after giving her a surprised look, he returned that smile. 

“You know, you said that the last time I apologised to....but I believe that a lot of the hard work was done by you,” Kakeru said gently, “he seriously seems to look down on himself because of his position in the family, but you accepted him for that and allowed me to meet someone as...as cool as him. So instead I have to thank you. Nothing I could do would make me be able to repay everything you’ve done for him.” 

“Oh I’m sure it was no problem for me!” Tohru replied hastily, not wanting to impose on him like that, “I’m sure Sohma-kun was someone I really enjoyed being around!” 

“Yeah...you seemed much happier when you interacted with him too,” Kakeru added, “that goes with not just Yuki, but everyone. You were so vibrant with everyone.” 

“I see...” Tohru acknowledged, feeling slightly empty. If she was so happy, why did she have to lose that life of hers? Kakeru gave her a long look, and when the girl noticed, he stood up. 

“Tell you what! I’ve decided! Honda-san, we need to get your memories back!” Kakeru declared. 

There was silence. 

“Ehhhhh!?!?” Tohru exclaimed, but then felt herself get startled by the door suddenly being slammed open. 

“Are you kidding me!?” Yuki questioned, stomping into the room, “that’s your conclusion!?” 

“So-Sohma-kun!” Tohru squeaked out, as her classmate crossed his arms and glared at him. 

“Yes Yun-Yun,” Kakeru dramatically posed, “it is alas, the job of the black ranger, to help those troubled by the evil monsters that lurk around.” 

“That’s not the issue here!” Yuki argued, grabbing Kakeru by the collar, “involving her will only hurt her again! Don’t you realise?! The very reason her memories—“

“So what if we counteract that very decision made by those above you?” Kakeru interrupted, his facial expression suddenly becoming serious, “listen Yuki. After hearing what you had to say, I have to question: why the hell are you guys following a script like that? Why do you guys have to submit yourself to something stupid like a folktale?” 

Yuki glared defensively, before letting go. 

“What?” He questioned, his voice dark. Tohru began to get frightened. 

“It’s like when I had submitted myself to our family’s inheritance dispute!” Kakeru compared, his voice rising in desperateness, “following every goddamn thing my parents said, and acting like a disposable tool! It was painful; and just felt so wrong! That’s why I left; and that’s why I think you guys should try to leave too!” 

“That’s not a reason to—“ Yuki began. 

“Involve Honda-san? Well, I think it’d help everyone, including Honda-san, if she was involved,” Kakeru reasoned, “you told me right? Everyone looked at her as light, but with her absence, they suffering! And can’t you see?!” 

He gestured to her. 

“She’s suffering too!” Kakeru exclaimed. Tohru immediately felt wrong; they were arguing about her selfish desire. 

“Sohma-kun! Manabe-kun! Please stop fighting over me!” Tohru bursted out, as the two of them paused and turned to her in surprise, “I’m sorry...I don’t want it anymore...if it’s only going to brew conflict, I don’t want my memories back anymore!” 

The room went silent, as Tohru began to cry again. If she was the reason that the two of them don’t talk to each other anymore, she’d never forgive herself. She already had a hard time not hating herself, but this could cross a line for even her. Looking around, Kakeru looked at the floor in hurt. Yuki on the other hand, clenched his fist and looked away. 

“I’ve actually been questioning it for a while...” Yuki admitted, turning his body away from his best friend, “whether involving Honda-san was really a good idea... I thought I was being selfish; not doing anything to help her in return for what she did for me, and on the contrary only causing her pain.” 

“Yeah; but it’s about time you actually tried to do something back,” Kakeru prompted bluntly. 

“Shut up!” Yuki reacted, before turning back towards him with a look filled with emotion, “thanks Kakeru. I think I follow what you’re trying to tell me.” 

“Heh,” Kakeru chuckled, “in that case...you know what to do. We’re now the Honda memory retrieval squad.” 

The brunette grabbed his bag and began to exit. 

“I’ll be going home now, but if you guys need any help, I’m here,” Kakeru informed, while pulling out his phone, “cya.” 

“Bye, Manabe-kun!” Tohru called after him. Yuki remained silent. He only began to tremble. 

“Sohma...kun?” Tohru called, tilting her head in confusion. He stopped shaking and smiled gently at her. 

“A long time ago, you told me that even if your memories were gone, you wanted to be my friend,” Yuki explained, stepping forward and extending his hand out, “now that the moment is here, I want to fulfil that: Honda-san, will you be my friend?” 

Tohru gasped in surprise, before she felt herself become elated. She couldn’t believe that this was really happening; she couldn’t contain her happiness. The sun from outside began to set, as the room took on a bright orange hue. 

“Of course I will, Sohma-Kun!” Tohru beamed, feeling brighter as she took his hand, “I would love to be your friend!” 

Yuki radiated warmth when he returned her smile; it was something which made her day brighter, like the sunlight that absorbed the room. It was like the light that came from a lit candle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus begins the second half of the story! With Kakeru and Tohru (again) on board with the curse and their new effort to get back Tohru’s memories, this will start moving in an interesting direction! 
> 
> But what Yuki’s doing clearly counters what he and Kyo agreed on; how do you think Kyo would feel when he finds out about this? And what will people like Shigure do with the actions Kakeru took?
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
